Keith Hernadez

1). Possibly the worst commentator in the history of televison. He makes John Madden look like William Shakespeare and the border patrol look competent. He is a sexist, and did a hell of a lot of cocaine back during his ball playing days.
2). The inventor of the mustache ride.
3). The biggest ass bandit, cock bag, douchebag, o'fey the world has to offer

1). Guy: Who did they get to announce the World Series of Baseball this year?
Girl: John Madden and Keith Hernadez
Guy: Well, I'm going to jam a pencil in my ear then. See you later.
2). Keith Hernadez loves giving Mustache rides to Ron Jeremy.
3). "Keith Hernadez, you are the biggest ass bandit, cock bag, douchebag, o'fey the world has to offer" -The parents of Keith Hernadez.

Keith Hernadez by Storyingtelling Sam May 18, 2006

I'm Keith Hernandez 

Saying you are going to do something simply because of who you are. The highest level of self-confidence and overemphasis of your abilities.

Hernandez himself when he makes a move on Elaine in a 92 episode of Seinfeld simply because he was Keith Hernandez. Michael Jordan making 3's in Game 1 of the 1992 Finals and shrugging to the crowd. Matt Leinart slinging the ball long on 4th down against Notre Dame. An athlete especially has an "I'm Keith Hernandez" moment when he decides to do whatever he wants because of his own name and identity. Frequently used by ESPN writer Bill Simmons

I'm Keith Hernandez by Michael Bliss December 27, 2008

keith hernandez 

guy who was awesome. played for the mets and led the best mets team ever to a world series win in 1986. he has a sweet 'stache.

dude, keith hernandez just tore that tree out of the ground.
no biggie

keith hernandez by mets fan May 11, 2006

Keith Hernandez 

Alpha Male; one who is built of pure testosterone; fabled to be the second coming of Jesus Christ himself; stronger than Shaggy

People who worship God are secretly worshiping Keith Hernandez, who is God, and man, and spirit.

I want Keith Hernandez to impregnate me with his holy semen

Keith Hernandez by Believer of Keithanism September 9, 2020

Keith Austin Hernandez 

The purest form of God; pure testosterone; made the known universe

At the beginning of time, there was Keith Austin Hernandez. There was never a time where he wasn’t here. He’s always been. You don’t even need a where. Not even a when. That’s how every it gets

I want Keith Austin Hernandez to impregnate me with his holy semen.

Keith Austin Hernandez by Believer of Keithanism September 9, 2020