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If I can 

The only thing you can do here is get someone else's kill murdered with you obstinacy.
Hym "Jordan I am going to make your daughters life a living hell. I swear to whatever concept of God you have in that defunct gomer brain of your I will make them choose between you daughter and the kid. If I can get within arms reach of a kids whatever you are trying to get me to do will fail. As long as killing the kids equates to sucess and IT WILL ALWAYS EQUATE TO SUCESS BECAUSE YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WHAT YOU'RE DOING!"
If I can by Hym Iam July 12, 2024
Words you can keep

If I can make you do what I want and get away with it, why should I not? 

Empathy for one. In the absence of empathy, if the amount of energy takes for you to get me to do a thing supersedes the amount of energy required for the thing to be done then it wouldn't be practical for you to make me do the thing. Additionally, my awareness of my own mortality makes it impossible for me to be perpetually made to do thing because I can always just kill myself. It incentivizes harming you and the things you care about. It gives your enemies a de-facto ally. But it's intriguing that you think that there is only one reason...
JeerpJoop "If I can make you do what I want and get away with it, why should I not?"

Hym "Well, for starters, there's more than one reason. Secondly, you literally can't. You can only leverage (either) my desire to live against performing the act OR the hope that I may not have to continue doing it indefinitely. Which is how you get people to stay in your suffering cult. You leverage their desire to live and their hope that their suffering will end to get them to do what you want or behave how you want to behave. It's actually kind of illuminating to because if you're God rewards screwing people over then is it not evil? Sounds evil. It ties back into you not actually believing in God but rather believing that God is on your side and that it will forgive you if you do the opposite of what it said."

If I can make up a 'if this then that' statement then what I'm saying is true 

Or Batman.
Charlatan "If I can make up a 'if this then that' statement then what I'm saying is true! It's embedded in the structure of the universe!"

Hym "Yes. Of course. You're clearly not a petty charlatan and a tyrant and you're clearly not using fascist collusion and gaslighting to enrich yourself and subvert the government. And it's NOT opposite world. All of these things are clearly not the case and no one is going to die as a direct result of you doing that."

If I can make him give up than so can God 

Is what you tell youselves. And that is why you are doing what you are doing. And making me change what I am doing is what constitutes giving up.
A retard "If I can make him give up than so can God!"

Hym "You don't get to be a part of my conflict with God and I'm not going to let you use this to stop me from getting what I want out of this. Stop doing it before your kids get hurt or do it until your kids get hurt but their is no in between."

Not If I Can Kelp It Burger 

An admittedly unusual, special Bob's Burgers burger that features kelp
"Hey Bob, what's the burger of the day?" "It's the Not If I Can Kelp It Burger, you should try it!"

i’ll see if i can 

No, this means no
Guy: We should hang out this weekend.

Girl: I’ll see if I can.

By saying this she is telling you no

who needs a car if i can swim underwater

a phrase created by uriel bromberg to say when people ask why you can't drive yet or why would you not
peep: hey man, did you get your drive license?
you: nah, who needs a car if i can swim underwater

grandma: hey son, could you drive to the supermarket and buy me fresh fruits?
you: i ain't got drive license, but who needs a car if i can swim underwater
More from Urban Dictionary

Coyote Ugly

1. Place

The Bar came before the movie. It is an awesome bar where the girls know how to party and make you feel okay about giving up your money, drawers, bras, and dignity.

2. Movie

A story about a Jersey girl following her dreams, aided by working at this bar in New York.

3. Situation/Person/Decision

See other definitions - waking up next to someone so ugly you'd rather chew your arm off than wake them up.
1. Yo, Coyote Ugly is my favorite bar! I got whipped, stripped, drunk, and danced on the bar all before 7 o'clock!

2. Hey did you see Coyote Ugly? It actually has a plot!

3. Ugg I woke up to Coyote Ugly this morning!
Coyote Ugly by jerseycountry March 8, 2009
Word of the Day on September 2, 2026

Literally 1984 

Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.

Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.

Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!

--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026
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