I.A.G.N.I.

Acronym, short for "I ain't got no internet!"

Term used to describe agitating people who call I.T. help desks a say that they, in some way, cannot access the internet. Also used to describe the frustration of the vagueness of the problem itself (Is your Ethernet cable plugged in? Is your WiFi router on? Are you sure you choose a WiFi network? etc.)

Customer: Hello, I am having a problem with my computer.

I.T. Guy 1: Okay, what is your problem.

Customer: My computer can't seem to connect to the internet.

I.T. Guy 1: (Away from phone) We have another I.A.G.N.I. problem.

I.T. Guy 2: Really, just choose a network already people.

I.T. Guy 1: Is the Ethernet cable plugged in?
Customer: Yes, it is.

I.T. Guy 1: Is the light next to it blinking?

Customer: No, should it.

I.T. Guy 2: (In the background) oh COME ON!

I.T. Guy 1: Please remove the cable and plug it back in, the light should start blinking afterwards.

Customer: Okay, its working now. Thank you.
I.T. Guy 1: Have a good day. (Hangs up.)
I.T. Guy 2: Idiot.

I.T. Guy 1: I know, right. Can't say I.A.G.N.I. without agony.

by floppy_hard_seabass November 15, 2018