I swear to god 

A word used which means your getting on somebody nerves I would stop it if I was you.

John - *poke* *poke* *poke*
Mary - I swear to god if you don't stop
John- *poke* *poke* *poke*
Mary - *Shoots John* I TOLD YOU TO STOP

I swear to god by Live me dude April 13, 2017

I swear to God 

When you swear to God

I swear to God if you don’t buy me maccys I’m not gonna be your friend

I swear to God by Sherly:) October 9, 2018

I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine. 

A great threat for if someone is being particularly bothersome or you want to somehow lose their contact. Let's say your ex won't stop texting you after it's been a month since you've broken up and you want to just- scare them off a little bit. Maybe even get 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 to block 𝘺𝘰𝘶. This is the perfect threat for you.

Take one more step towards me and I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine.

I swear to god, I'll fill your sinuses with urine. by GenderIsBullCrap January 28, 2021

I swear to god no crosses count 

U know when you say I swear to god and cross ur fingers to say I actually don’t swear to god
But when u say I swear to god no crosses count that means when you cross ur fingers u still will swear to god.

Bro I saw a gorilla outside ur house
No u didn’t

I did!
Say you swear to god no crosses count
I swear to god no crosses count

I swear to god no crosses count by Partygoer n kingsheep January 8, 2024

It was a joke i swear to god

What you type into your web browser after you type in something sketchy into your web browser. You type it to make sure the FBI doesn't get you. I promise it was a joke.

I pulled a " It was a joke I swear to God".

It was a joke i swear to god by FroggerJGWentWorth June 8, 2017

say i swear to god 

something you say to somebody when you don't really give a shit about their story. this is a phrase usually used when somebody else won't shut the fuck up about something you don't give a fuck about. you usually let them talk for a little while but when they get to the point of being annoying, that's when you tell them, "Say I swear to God." In short, it's just another way to let somebody else know you don't care. When you tell them to say "I swear to God," they usually get the message right away after saying "I swear to God," and shortly afterwards realizing that it means you don't care.

Melissa: Cancun was so awesome! We were at the bar every night! We met totally hot guys! One night we all danced on the bar after we did like, 20 jelly shots apiece! And then Jill made out with some guy who was like, 35 years old! We were all dying laughing! It was so funny!

Me: No way! Say I swear to God! (in a cocky ass, sarcastic manner)

Melissa: I swear to God! (realizing you don't care)

say i swear to god by TwanDiggity September 3, 2005

i swear to drunk i'm not god

Usually said by drunks.
They think they're actually saying:
"I swear to god I'm not drunk."

Unforunately, they aren't.

Guy : I swear to drunk I'm not god!
Police officer: Okay sir, get out of the car.

i swear to drunk i'm not god by SuperSonicX August 22, 2004