I shit you not

When you say something unbelievable but true.

Josh: Did you know that Bernard proposed to Kayla?
James: No way, they only met a week ago.
Josh: I shit you not, they're engaged!

by vejtics May 4, 2019

I shit you not

The expression means I am being honest.

john:I just saw Barbra Bush running naked on T.V
Lou: No fucking way
John: I shit you not

by B-dub (refers to my age) November 18, 2005

I Shit You Not

When some one tells the truth about something usually unbeleivable.

guy 1 - i just laid your mom

guy 2 - wtf!! seriously?

guy 1 - i shit you not my friend...

by Zael Yagami April 29, 2009

I shit you not

A phrase typically, but not always, used in conversation; can also be used in response to a fact, or its opposite, in media; the appropriate response to any sentence including any variation of the descriptor 'bullshit', when the word 'shit' is being used as a verb, and the preceding perceived assertion or premise reflects a known truth or fact. Also used as its reverse as a prank, to generate belief in something patently false and normally unbelievable.

You: Idaho is a state in the USA? You're shitting me!

Them: I shit you not! It's a state!

You: I thought it was an invention of the corn industry.

Them: You're shitting me.

You: I shit you not! ... yeah, I'm shitting you, you numbfuck.

by Omniv0r March 10, 2022

I shit you not one cent

used to state that a story is 100% true, no matter now insane, silly, or crazy it sounds, "one cent" is the part stating that not even 1% of this story is fake

"i shit you not one cent, the tiger did a backflip" roger said to george

by Insert inside joke here July 13, 2022

I shit you not one cent

used to describe the wildest part of a story is 101% true, no matter how insane it might seem

"i dropped my sandwich and i shit you not one cent, it landed perfectly back on the plate!"

by Insert inside joke here August 26, 2022

I do not give a shit NO FUCKS GIVEN EITHER YOU DICKWEED

I DO NOT WFICKING CARE YOU DISCO WEEED AI WONKING HATE YOU WANT THE FUCKING PHONE THROWN AT YOUR FACE?!?!? SHUT THE FUCK UP I DONT GIVE A SHIT OR FUCK, KILL YOURSELF + RATIO + I DONT CARE + DOING YOUR MOM - EAT DICK YOU PENIS SHIT

Carl: hey Tim wanna see a Reddit meme I post-
Tim: I do not give a shit NO FUCKS GIVEN EITHER YOU DICKWEED. I DO NOT WFICKING CARE YOU DISCO WEEED AI WONKING HATE YOU WANT THE FUCKING PHONE THROWN AT YOUR FACE?!?!? SHUT THE FUCK UP I DONT GIVE A SHIT OR FUCK, KILL YOURSELF + RATIO + I DONT CARE + DOING YOUR MOM - EAT DICK YOU PENIS SHIT
Carl: Jesus Christ

by Massive rotating balls god April 22, 2022