Josh: Did you know that Bernard proposed to Kayla?
James: No way, they only met a week ago.
Josh: I shit you not, they're engaged!
by vejtics May 4, 2019
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The expression means I am being honest.
john:I just saw Barbra Bush running naked on T.V
Lou: No fucking way
John: I shit you not
by B-dub (refers to my age) November 17, 2005
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A phrase typically, but not always, used in conversation; can also be used in response to a fact, or its opposite, in media; the appropriate response to any sentence including any variation of the descriptor 'bullshit', when the word 'shit' is being used as a verb, and the preceding perceived assertion or premise reflects a known truth or fact. Also used as its reverse as a prank, to generate belief in something patently false and normally unbelievable.
You: Idaho is a state in the USA? You're shitting me!

Them: I shit you not! It's a state!

You: I thought it was an invention of the corn industry.

Them: You're shitting me.

You: I shit you not! ... yeah, I'm shitting you, you numbfuck.
by Omniv0r March 10, 2022
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When some one tells the truth about something usually unbeleivable.
guy 1 - i just laid your mom

guy 2 - wtf!! seriously?

guy 1 - i shit you not my friend...
by Zael Yagami April 29, 2009
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used to state that a story is 100% true, no matter now insane, silly, or crazy it sounds, "one cent" is the part stating that not even 1% of this story is fake
"i shit you not one cent, the tiger did a backflip" roger said to george
by Insert inside joke here July 13, 2022
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A horribly translated version of something nobody even gives a shit about.
by Qu_ge June 25, 2021
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used to describe the wildest part of a story is 101% true, no matter how insane it might seem
"i dropped my sandwich and i shit you not one cent, it landed perfectly back on the plate!"
by Insert inside joke here August 26, 2022
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