Hinckley Academy 

Formerly known as JCC, the school has recently shifted away from the production of chavs which inhibit the Town and towards the breeding of the more modern, 21st century version: the Roadman. A ripped puffer jacket on the school gates is an ever-present sight, the sign that one gang of roadmen has sabotaged another and thus removed their leader of the right to wear a north face jacket in July and to use language such as blud, fam or init. The school's inability to get on top of the theft issue has had a profound effect on the standard of teaching, with only 32% of teachers reported having more than 3 chairs and an interactive 'smart'board. This, inevitably, had a major impact on the growth of the roadmen numbers, with gang leaders using the time it takes teachers to set up the old-fashioned chalkboard to teach classmates roadmen dialect, which will later be used in the afternoon's shoplift when one member of the gang subdues the owner with their confusing accent while the leader smuggles a monster energy drink through the door under their puffer jacket. At home-time you'd be mistaken for thinking some sort of bmx race takes place on the premises by the amount of roadmen with bikes waiting outside the school gates but they are in fact expelled pupils who have the sudden desire, after being expelled, to rock up on their bikes en-masse and wait for their mates outside the gates every day, subsequently putting any members of staff off leaving school grounds before 5pm.

mother: son, why is my bank account saying £250 spent on a mountain warehouse coat, its June?
Year 7 child: I'm starting Hinckley Academy in September init!

Hinckley Academy by Suntan Dave October 21, 2020