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gherkin his merkin

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a euphemism for male masturbation; a derivative of “jerkin the gherkin”
David was late because he was too busy gherkin his merkin.
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Related Words
Gherkin Merkin • gherkin his merkin • Jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin • MERKIN FOR MY GERKIN • Gherkin • Gherkin Guillotine • gherkin dick • gherkin hooter • Gherkin Language • Gherkin Lurkin'

Jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin 

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Of the male: Masturbating with a pubic wig on.
"Geeves, what on earth are you doing in Lord Boddington's room this late at night?"

"Sorry, ma'am, but I heard a commotion down the hall, so I scurried to investigate the matter. Twas but a false alarm, the young master was simply jerkin' the gerkin with a merkin"

From "Geeves, that the stupid thing off his genitals" by Forsworth Littlingshire
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MERKIN FOR MY GERKIN 

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AS IN "MERKIN" ITS A TINY TUPEE FOR THE TIP OF THE PENIS
BILL KEEPS IS HIS DICK WARM BY WEARING THE MERKIN FOR MY GERKIN
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More from Urban Dictionary

aired 

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Being ignored by someone when making a statement or asking a question. Also known as blanked and turfed.
Person 1: Did u watch ** last nite?
Person 2:......
Person 3: O no u got aired!
aired by Pietro February 9, 2005
Word of the Day on October 10, 2026
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piddlefart

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verb. To waste time doing nothing.
Instead of doing my homework, I decided to piddlefart around for two hours.
piddlefart by Rene April 25, 2005
Word of the Day on October 9, 2026
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wrongun 

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anyone who succeeds in disgracing/over indulging themselves in the throws of clubland
28 hours and 4 clubs later, gurning for england but still refusing to go home - a total wrongun!!
wrongun by bevvers March 21, 2007
Word of the Day on October 8, 2026
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square grouper

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Nickname given to bales of marijuana thrown overboard or out of airplanes. Origin is reportedly from members of the US Coast Guard in the area of Southern Florida.
"Base we've got some square groupers floating outside of Miami harbor."
square grouper by slipsheet November 6, 2004
Word of the Day on October 7, 2026
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Bunhead 

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A girl who does ballet and only talks about ballet. Her schedule is filled with dance classes which does not allow her to do any other activity.
"Hey, do you know that girl Sally?"

"Yeah, she's kind of annoying. All she ever talks about it ballet."

"Wow, what a Bunhead."

"Hey Sally, you want to hang out this weekend?"
"I can't, I have dance."
"You're such a Bunhead."

"Yeah... I know."
Bunhead by Jen00 October 24, 2014
Word of the Day on October 6, 2026
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trucker's tan 

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A sunburn or suntan focused on the left arm. It is caused by the left side of the body being the only half that gets exposed to sunlight while driving. Presumably, it would be located on the right side of the body in countries where they drive on the left side of the road.
I had a trucker's tan after driving for 10 straight hours on a sunny day.
trucker's tan by population361 May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on October 5, 2026
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