When you're too fucking mad to fucking come up with an actual fucking insult and fucking think for a fucking second so you just fucking fuck up your mind and fucking go full ham on someone and spit out this fucking fuckton of fucks in one breath which totally is garaunfuckingteed to fuck your motherfucking foe so fucking hard their eyeballs fucking gush out of their fucking organs which then fuck your foe into oblivion and fuck them over for motherfucking life.
Ladies and gentlemen of the press corps, Madame First Lady, Mr. President, my name is Stephen Colbert and tonight it's my privilege to celebrate this president. We're not so different, he and I. We get it. We're not brainiacs on the nerd patrol. We're not members of the factinista. We go straight from the gut, right sir? That's where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. I know some of you are going to say "I did look it up, and that's not true." That's 'cause you looked it up in a book.