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figuratively speaking 

"Figuratively speaking" is a phrase used to clarify that the speaker is not speaking literally but rather using figurative language to make a point or convey a concept.

When someone says "figuratively speaking," they are typically emphasizing that the statement should not be taken literally but rather as a figure of speech or an exaggeration for effect.
Figuratively speaking, I was in a prison I couldn’t escape.

Fuck Me Figuratively Up The Ass

An exclamation of extreme shock and disbelief, whether at an event or a sight being witnessed.

Can also be used when you discover someone has been fucking you over.
Person 1: Holy shit! What the hell is that person doing?
Person 2: Well, fuck me figuratively up the ass, they're raping a dog.

Person 1: You have a date with Sally? You know, she has a boyfriend.
Person 2: Fuck me figuratively up the ass! Three months and she never said anything!

figurative dick 

If someone has the figurative dick in their mouth, it means the more that they talk the less enjoyable your life is; just as the more someone giving a blowjob talks, the less enjoyable it is.
That Max kid is so annoying, he has the figurative dick in his mouth all day.
figurative dick by tripleski6 April 25, 2010

liguratively 

For those rare moments when your torn between using literally or figuratively.
You ate all the cheese! I'm so angry at you right now I liguratively want to strangle you.

Figurative language 

Funny words which mean you're saying something you don't literally mean.
English teachers like to give you nice terms like "Figurative language". It's just useless new names for things you already know.
Figurative language by Mystery Man January 28, 2003

Figurative Butt-hole 

(noun) An anus which does not actually exist in the real world, but is often subjected to abuse.
Man, after getting raped by the physics test, my figurative butt-hole is sooo loose