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Disasturbate 

When your life is so shitty, all you can do is masturbate in sorrow and self-pity.
"What happened to Luke the other day?"

"I don't know man, but it must be pretty horrible - he just went to the other room to disasturbate."
Disasturbate by kOrEAn Bbq May 9, 2013

Disasturbate 

Masturbating during a natural or otherwise any disaster.
The tornado is coming, I better disasturbate so I can too.
Disasturbate by Jawsh00 July 3, 2015

Demasturbate 

To demasturbate, you must quickly let go of your dick before ejaculation, this will slowly flatten the erection and make it difficult to use your bladder.
Guy 1: Dude did you demasturbate about that girl.
Guy 2: Yea, it took me centuries for my piss to let loose.

Guy 3: What the fuck man?
Demasturbate by DarkXPShadow May 11, 2017

Disasturbate 

When you are sad and alone, you go in the corner of a small room and profusely cry and sweat while you violently masturbate.
"Yo, did you finally have sex with your girlfriend last night"
"No, man. She had to leave early so I just went home to disasturbate."
Disasturbate by foooswagga-7 April 14, 2013

Sebasturbate 

When someone with crabs masturbates.

To masturbate using or with a crab
how many times do you sebasturbate a week?
Sebasturbate by crabsturbaters June 15, 2010

Disasturbate 

Watching that show Doomsday Preppers is great way to disasturbate.
Disasturbate by Evan Estaog May 26, 2012