A strategic coup d'état of a couch or other piece of furniture. Accomplished by means of small, deliberate moves toward both extremities of the seating arrangement simultaneously. The end goal is reached when one maintains full possession of the couch, futon, sofa, or love seat. Ejection of any and all previous couch-goers to the floor is preferable. A cunning and underhanded move requiring skill, tact, and wit.
I wanted to stretch my legs, so I went all manifest destiny on Gus and Sam. They finally surrendered to my inevitable couch conquest, relocating themselves to the floor.
Anything such as a sheet, blanket, sleeping bag, trash bag, etc., which might prevent one from contact with a soiled couch, especially on upholstery soiled with sweat, sex juices or butt smudges. Much in the same way a pillow case or a t-shirt can protect one from a filthy pillow.
"Both Cyka's aunt and Booby have had real nasty sex right there. You'll probably want to throw down a couch condom before you rest your dizzy head there."
discoloration of the vagina after being smanged (the combination of being smashed and banged) usually resulting with a purple color, like a bruise.
Guy: "Whoa girl what happened to your cooch??"
Girl: "Ehhhh I got smanged pretty good..."
Guy: "Daaaaaang girl it looks like you got yourself a cooch contusion"
I hope your muscles warmed up, you caaan’t be lazy (Get loose)
This is what I like to call SmashBang fusion
Gotta focus, mama don’t wanna get a "Cooch Contusion"
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.