Cornwaller

The ability to come up with any excuse to not work out.

person 1 - "Hey, missed you at the gym last night."

person 2 - "Sorry I got dizzy, waiting for payday, girl had me running errands, and then had happy hour after work."

person 1 - "Dude, your such a cornwaller."

Cornwaller by sissipher February 1, 2013

Cornwall, Ontario 

The population has peaked/stagnated at 46,000 since 1983, as any new blood that comes into the city is immediately put off by the eye-watering reek of industrial pollution, and the stench of farts, B.O., and desperation from the natives. As all heavy industry has been shut down, the main employers in the city nowadays are call centres and semi-organised crime, mainly centred on dealing drugs and shoplifting to order.

The nightlife in town sparkles with a joie-de-vivre as one is at a loss to choose which activities Cornwallites partake in: Bingo, bar-hopping, or break-ins. For the truly seasoned city dweller, you participate in the break-ins first, in order to fund the other two.

The prime of life in Cornwall is reached at age 15, usuallly just after the arrival of the second offspring, but before the first adult criminal sentence. A lucky few may qualify for a disability pension due to injuries sustained during the commission of a crime, which will guarantee them a taxpayer-funded income for the rest of their useless, unfulfilling lives, but most will fall back to the old family business of living on welfare, pushing out another bastard every couple of years so that Mama Chardonnay can grab another Baby Bonus cheque to buy some big hoopy earrings.

There have been talks of late to attract the populations of Raqqa and Baghdad to improve the quality of life in the city.

The mating rituals of the Cornwall, Ontario denizen consist of the female slipping into a form-fitting spandex mini-skirt at least two sizes too small accentuated by the latest stolen purse and 4" stiletto heels. The male of the species goes out on the town with the latest in baggy pants, hoody, and ballcap, with the odour of sweaty polyester and cheap aftershave. The female is usually found squatting in a parking lot between cars, whilst the male of the species is usually found drumming his chest and pulling down twigs to eat.

Cornwall, Ontario by Dung Trumpet June 14, 2016

cornwelled 

to have been bombarded by unwanted conversation

I regret asking him how he was, I got cornwelled and it lasted for hours !

cornwelled by ilikerocks June 15, 2018

Colonel Cornelius Cornwall 

A fictitious colonel who attempts to persuade (and extort) the listener into purchasing corn. Colonel Cornelius Cornwall makes his appearance in a video published by Slimecicle on December 5th, 2018.

"From the earth Colonel Cornelius Cornwall rises, and to the earth he one day will return."

Colonel Cornelius Cornwall by MinitrueEmployee December 22, 2020

cornballer 

A dangerous machine invented and marketed by George Bluth Sr. on the hit show Arrested Development. The machine makes fried treats called cornballs.

Mexican guard: Cornballer....
George Sr: Si! Cornballer!

George Michael: That's a little cornball
Michael: I don't mind

cornballer by Toby Funke June 27, 2006

cornwallace

just to be a corny ass dude

yo la-d (LA DASH AH) look at this clown ass cornwallace face ass dude

cornwallace by lil franksta November 10, 2011

Cornwall 

Quite possibly the greatest place on the planet, this is reflected by British Tourist industry figures. More people from the UK go to Cornwall on holiday then fly abroad. Problem is, we don't want you here. We live in a beautiful place far far away from the North East or any crime-rife cities and we, the Cornish people would like to keep it that way.

Nothing pisses me off more than not being able to surf because of the sheer volume of pastey-white bodies on the beach and in the water. Really, stay at home this summer, we'll like you a lot more for it.

'Bloody Emmets! You can't move for them' (Emmet being a derogatory term for a holiday maker, it has its origins in the Cornish word for 'ant'

Cornwall by SurferBum March 14, 2005