Cornwalled
Cornwalled by The Society to Prevent Owen from Cuming in My Nose May 11, 2008
Words you can keep
Cornwall, Ontario
The population has peaked/stagnated at 46,000 since 1983, as any new blood that comes into the city is immediately put off by the eye-watering reek of industrial pollution, and the stench of farts, B.O., and desperation from the natives. As all heavy industry has been shut down, the main employers in the city nowadays are call centres and semi-organised crime, mainly centred on dealing drugs and shoplifting to order.
The nightlife in town sparkles with a joie-de-vivre as one is at a loss to choose which activities Cornwallites partake in: Bingo, bar-hopping, or break-ins. For the truly seasoned city dweller, you participate in the break-ins first, in order to fund the other two.
The prime of life in Cornwall is reached at age 15, usuallly just after the arrival of the second offspring, but before the first adult criminal sentence. A lucky few may qualify for a disability pension due to injuries sustained during the commission of a crime, which will guarantee them a taxpayer-funded income for the rest of their useless, unfulfilling lives, but most will fall back to the old family business of living on welfare, pushing out another bastard every couple of years so that Mama Chardonnay can grab another Baby Bonus cheque to buy some big hoopy earrings.
There have been talks of late to attract the populations of Raqqa and Baghdad to improve the quality of life in the city.
The nightlife in town sparkles with a joie-de-vivre as one is at a loss to choose which activities Cornwallites partake in: Bingo, bar-hopping, or break-ins. For the truly seasoned city dweller, you participate in the break-ins first, in order to fund the other two.
The prime of life in Cornwall is reached at age 15, usuallly just after the arrival of the second offspring, but before the first adult criminal sentence. A lucky few may qualify for a disability pension due to injuries sustained during the commission of a crime, which will guarantee them a taxpayer-funded income for the rest of their useless, unfulfilling lives, but most will fall back to the old family business of living on welfare, pushing out another bastard every couple of years so that Mama Chardonnay can grab another Baby Bonus cheque to buy some big hoopy earrings.
There have been talks of late to attract the populations of Raqqa and Baghdad to improve the quality of life in the city.
The mating rituals of the Cornwall, Ontario denizen consist of the female slipping into a form-fitting spandex mini-skirt at least two sizes too small accentuated by the latest stolen purse and 4" stiletto heels. The male of the species goes out on the town with the latest in baggy pants, hoody, and ballcap, with the odour of sweaty polyester and cheap aftershave. The female is usually found squatting in a parking lot between cars, whilst the male of the species is usually found drumming his chest and pulling down twigs to eat.
Cornwall, Ontario by Dung Trumpet June 14, 2016
Related Words
cornwelled
cornwelled by ilikerocks June 15, 2018
Colonel Cornelius Cornwall
A fictitious colonel who attempts to persuade (and extort) the listener into purchasing corn. Colonel Cornelius Cornwall makes his appearance in a video published by Slimecicle on December 5th, 2018.
Colonel Cornelius Cornwall by MinitrueEmployee December 22, 2020
cornballer
A dangerous machine invented and marketed by George Bluth Sr. on the hit show Arrested Development. The machine makes fried treats called cornballs.
Mexican guard: Cornballer....
George Sr: Si! Cornballer!
George Michael: That's a little cornball
Michael: I don't mind
George Sr: Si! Cornballer!
George Michael: That's a little cornball
Michael: I don't mind
cornballer by Toby Funke June 27, 2006
cornwallace
cornwallace by lil franksta November 10, 2011
Cornwall
Quite possibly the greatest place on the planet, this is reflected by British Tourist industry figures. More people from the UK go to Cornwall on holiday then fly abroad. Problem is, we don't want you here. We live in a beautiful place far far away from the North East or any crime-rife cities and we, the Cornish people would like to keep it that way.
Nothing pisses me off more than not being able to surf because of the sheer volume of pastey-white bodies on the beach and in the water. Really, stay at home this summer, we'll like you a lot more for it.
Nothing pisses me off more than not being able to surf because of the sheer volume of pastey-white bodies on the beach and in the water. Really, stay at home this summer, we'll like you a lot more for it.
More from Urban Dictionary
dirrty
1. Meaning nasty, sexy, filthy. Popularized by Christina Aguilera.
2. Used usally as a close friend in hip-hop slang.
2. Used usally as a close friend in hip-hop slang.
Coyote Ugly
1. Place
The Bar came before the movie. It is an awesome bar where the girls know how to party and make you feel okay about giving up your money, drawers, bras, and dignity.
2. Movie
A story about a Jersey girl following her dreams, aided by working at this bar in New York.
3. Situation/Person/Decision
See other definitions - waking up next to someone so ugly you'd rather chew your arm off than wake them up.
The Bar came before the movie. It is an awesome bar where the girls know how to party and make you feel okay about giving up your money, drawers, bras, and dignity.
2. Movie
A story about a Jersey girl following her dreams, aided by working at this bar in New York.
3. Situation/Person/Decision
See other definitions - waking up next to someone so ugly you'd rather chew your arm off than wake them up.
1. Yo, Coyote Ugly is my favorite bar! I got whipped, stripped, drunk, and danced on the bar all before 7 o'clock!
2. Hey did you see Coyote Ugly? It actually has a plot!
3. Ugg I woke up to Coyote Ugly this morning!
2. Hey did you see Coyote Ugly? It actually has a plot!
3. Ugg I woke up to Coyote Ugly this morning!
Coyote Ugly by jerseycountry March 8, 2009
Word of the Day on September 2, 2026
Literally 1984
Used in response for when someone promotes/advocates an event or idea that is perceived to support "too much" authority and/or government control.
Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.
Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Often used jokingly as a over-exaggeration in political talk.
Can also be used in response to a ban or mute in a forum site or online chat.
Steve: I think that the government should regulate businesses more
Bob: Literally 1984!
--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Bob: Literally 1984!
--User1 has been permantly banned--
User2: You cant ban my friend like that! Literally 1984!
Literally 1984 by ke1 July 7, 2021
Word of the Day on September 1, 2026
Back when I lived in upstate new york
A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Back when I lived in upstate new york by NDcent December 14, 2010
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
TLDU
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.
Me: Woah! TLDU!
Me: Woah! TLDU!