Congratsubating

Masterbating after accoplishing something, or after being proud of ones' self

A guy has been crushing on a girl for a while and finally get her number/a date

Guy 1: Dude im so happy, this girl is so hot.
Guy 2: So what you going to do are u going to call her up

Guy 1: No i think imma head out for a congratsubating session. See you later

GUy 2: WTF MAN!! GROSS

by Idhitthatificould March 16, 2012

congrasturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing only the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

congrasturbating - what your congress did today

by Jon Stewart the twntyfourth April 30, 2013

Congratubating

The practice of, upon reaching an accomplishment, rewarding oneself with a vigorous masterbation session.

Once Jimmy scored 90% on his test he was finally able to celebrate by congratubating himself!

by Dirty Daddie June 16, 2013

Congratsturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing only the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

(from April 29th, 2013 The Daily Show with Jon Steward) - featuring the Urban Dictionary word "Procrasturbating"

Sen. Susan Collins (R): "It's nice to know, that when we work together we really can solve problems!"

Jon: "Yeah, how nice from you - I think I have a new word for the Urban Dictionary: Congratsturbating."

by Al P Trollolol April 30, 2013

Congratsturbating

Creating a problem that affects millions of people, then praising oneself for fixing the small part of the problem that affects you and then masturbating.

Coined by Jon Stewart

'Did you hear Susan Collins saying how proud she was that Congress passed a bill to speed up air travel?'

'Yeah that bitch is just congratsturbating.'

by Umbeeee April 29, 2013