cock-juggling thunder cunt
(n.) A rare individual. When found in its true from, it manages to combine qualities of the bitch, the blabbermouth, and the cum dumpster in a veritable shitstorm of evil. The cock-juggling thunder cunt is in fact so evil, that it transcends the plane of the urban, and lives on the plane of the spiritual. Spiritually speaking, it is akin to if Satan douched out his vagina, assuming he had a vagina and was prone to acts of vaginal hygiene, and then left the contents of his vaginal douche in the fridge for like a month and a half, because Satan's a big asshole and would do that kinda thing, even though it would mean all the butter and yogurt in there would start to smell like douche and you'd have to throw it out because he didn't even have the common sense to open up another thing of baking soda because i know there's already one in there but he know's it's old. The cock-juggling thunder cunt should be avoided at all costs. A friend or relative beginning an intimate or sexual relationship with a cock-juggling thunder cunt requires strict measures of spiritual salvation including, although not limited to, "Dude, what the fuck? Alright, come on out with us tonight, we're gonna get you LAID." If you yourself encounter a cock-juggling thunder cunt, call her out as one, then jingle any loose change you have in your pockets as a distraction and back away slowly. If she corners you, just remember her fatal weaknesses: that all of her friends hate her, the combination of Sex in the City and Edy's Cookies and Cream, and of course, cock juggling.
*VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Cock-jugglling thunder cunt is a very powerful term, and should only be used socially as a sort of coup-de-gras. See below example with this thing (*) by it. Asterisk, that's it.
*VERY IMPORTANT NOTE: Cock-jugglling thunder cunt is a very powerful term, and should only be used socially as a sort of coup-de-gras. See below example with this thing (*) by it. Asterisk, that's it.
#1:
Eric: Can I have a blowjob?
Suzy: No.
Eric: (sighs) Can I please have a blowjob?
Suzy: Still no.
(Here Suzy represents a cock-juggling thunder cunt)
#2*:
Lawyer: Not only have a proven that although Mrs. Johnson was in Canada at the time of their slaying, that she is nonetheless responsible for the brutal deaths of her husband, children, nephew, lesbian lover and dog, but she is also (dramatic pause) a COCK-JUGGLING THUNDER CUNT! I rest my case.
Eric: Can I have a blowjob?
Suzy: No.
Eric: (sighs) Can I please have a blowjob?
Suzy: Still no.
(Here Suzy represents a cock-juggling thunder cunt)
#2*:
Lawyer: Not only have a proven that although Mrs. Johnson was in Canada at the time of their slaying, that she is nonetheless responsible for the brutal deaths of her husband, children, nephew, lesbian lover and dog, but she is also (dramatic pause) a COCK-JUGGLING THUNDER CUNT! I rest my case.
cock-juggling thunder cunt by Jason Kellerman September 11, 2008
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