Church of Cannabinology 

This is a church in which the belief system revolves around the practical and sometimes impractical use of cannabis sativa and indica. Much like the church of scientology, there is the use of stress tests at kiosks in malls, (they actually escort you outside to their 1974 Ford conversion van with the wolf howling at the moon paint job, and the stress test is just you hitting a vaporizer,) there are massive amounts of cash rolling into the church, and the church was founded by an egotistical writer by the name of B. Sam Verbeck. The differences lie in that the church of cannabinology is not anti-homosexual, it is not a cult, it's basically just a front for copious amounts of weed being dealt to the public with a tax free status. If you are to join the Church of Cannabinology, you'll see that many of life's problems go away when you get blazed and played Super Mario Allstars all day long.

Stoned dude: Oh my ganj! You gotta check out the stress test that the guys from the Church of Cannabinology are giving out!

Not stoned dude: You mean Scientology?

Stoned dude: No man, Cannabinology! Check out the kiosk, they blaze you out with a volcano vaporizer and some real heady nugs!

Not stoned dude: Cannabis H. Sativa! I'm there bro!

Church of Cannabinology by Ben Verbeck May 7, 2009