Carpet Fairy 

Being the female equivalent of a soy boy, a carpet fairy is an extremely feminine lesbian. Carpet fairies can usually be seen drinking a venti frappuccino and gossiping about the latest scandal denoted in the most recent Cosmopolitan article.

Tyler: "Did you see Carla? That outfit she's wearing makes her stand out more than a republican in downtown LA."
Chad: "Yeah, seriously. She's a real carpet fairy."

Carpet Fairy by Technium February 21, 2018

Carpet fairy

someone who smokes crack and is 1 always on the carpet looking for their crack toke they lost 2 they are always on the carpet looking for a crack toke they didn't just drop but still are looking anyways even though there's no dope on the floor 3 they are pretending to be looking for their toke they claimed to have just lost but never did they are really just looking all over the carpet for other dope that may be on the carpet at whosever place they are at 4 they are looking for other peoples dope on the floor 5 they have stolen dope off whomever they are hanging out with from there place and they plant it or throw it on the floor then pretend to be either looking for their own toke or helping the other person find dope for them and then claiming it was there's they just dropped it 6 they some how always seem to find dope on your floor claiming to have either lost it the other day or just dropped it or like they find someone else's toke that came over and left and they found a chunk of crack they left behind even though you swept your floor they mysteriously a little too much always find or claim to have found magicaly Make a peice of crack appear out of no where

Person 1 : that's all I have left damn they really do need to start calling this shit more Im already down to just a gram I could have sworn I had like fucking at least 2 grams

Person 2: same here bro all my dope is gone I think I see a chunk under the corner of the rug right there that's probably mine from earlier

Person 1: get the fuck off my floor you fucking carpet fairy your always on all fours crawling around my floor for crying out loud your not digging though my garbage either

Carpet fairy by XyloZeem January 5, 2026

Carpet Fairies

a noise punk band formed during the mid 1700s who's records have been burned and was never seen again.
the records actually never existed, but any written document on their lives are nowhere to be found but the bodies of these ambitious musicians, who were way ahead of their time, mysteriously disappeared after, supposedly, mumbling something about global warming and such...
were these ghosts of the future? was it Saddam Hussein in a rabbit suit playing the garbage cans? no one knows. we don't know. i don't know. no one knows. but they are the Carpet Fairies. The Carpet Fairies are out there somewhere.
And no, a Carpet Fairy is NOT a hip lesbian.

"Have you heard the Carpet Fairies new album?"
"No."
"Yeah, me neither."

Carpet Fairies by PeeSpawt October 13, 2009