The vile act of pooping in a old candle holder, then running a wick through it. After letting it set, light candle in enemy's house.
by GoUSAyoohoo February 05, 2010
Canadas history has long been decribed as the most fundementally and siturbing sexual act ever conceived by and individual whose name stems from its use of syrup, a moose head mounted on a wall, and a canadian police outfit. The largest man in the group of 8 men and 1 women wears moose head over his own like a mask. his goal is to get the horns into everyone elses rectum before every has had an orgasm and is he fails they all restart. The second man is in charge of the syrup. He boils it and the gently pours it with the use of a funnel into all of the womens orifices coating her in a scalding sticky mess which then three of the other men stick there throbbing memebrs into scalding not only the women but pumping hot syrup out onto the rods of fury. then one man is in a canadian polica outfit and he runs around with his bayonet gently cutting new orifices into the flailing orgy creating new fuckholes for the remainings men to force there penises into. the goal of the act is not only to have sex but also to make sure every gets the horns in there ass before orgasm and to have everyuone covered in boiling maple syrup and to have at least 2 pints of blood spill out from the makeshift fuckholes carved into the side of peoples body by the canadian policemen. Should be filmed.
by TJ the moose lover February 09, 2010
A country that surley needs to grow a set And is a cluster fuck of debacles that is waisting the time of all em lil bitches in Canada.
Canadas history has Too many Mexicans in Canada and has a magazine called the "Beaver" fuckin fail . -.-
by Luvstosplooge February 05, 2010
A sex act performed often by members of Canada's high society in which maple syrup is poured generously onto the crotch of the willing female, who then mounts the face of a moose by holding onto its antlers. The Moose encouraged by the presence of the sweet syrup performs cunnilingus on the woman while the Stanley Cup is positioned below to collect the drippings. Once a sufficient volume is collected the willing male participant dips his erect phallus into the cup prior to insertion into the Moose's anus (preferably before the Moose has slurped up all the syrup). Depending upon the size of the phallus inserted into the Moose, one of two results will occur:
(1) the Moose will become agitated to some degree of insanity and attempt to buck off both the man and woman. At this point, if the couple lasts at least 8 seconds and both reach the point of orgasm, they win the Stanley Cup. This is referred to as the "Two Canucks, One Cup" Rodeo.
(2) the Moose will become aroused, and will proceed to insert itself into the female. If the female is unwilling, a suitable midget replacement will suffice.
(1) the Moose will become agitated to some degree of insanity and attempt to buck off both the man and woman. At this point, if the couple lasts at least 8 seconds and both reach the point of orgasm, they win the Stanley Cup. This is referred to as the "Two Canucks, One Cup" Rodeo.
(2) the Moose will become aroused, and will proceed to insert itself into the female. If the female is unwilling, a suitable midget replacement will suffice.
Oh, snap! Did you see Steven Colbert and Sarah Palin do Canada's History to Bullwinkle while Rocky watched?
by wizztopizz February 10, 2010
Canada's History is a depraved sexual act first performed around 1898 in the lawless Yukon territory by "Meaty" Georges Gagnon, a French-Canadian prospector during the Klondike Gold Rush. Georges performed the act on many willing and unwilling men, women, children, and domesticated animals (the rumors of this act being performed on moose and kodiak bears are unconfirmed). The act was called a "Dark mar on Canada's History" by local politicians, and "the only interesting thing in Canada's History" by American papers sensationalizing the Klondike Gold Rush.
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
The act itself was said to originally consist of Georges approaching with moose antlers strapped to his head. Georges (known for having meaty lumberjack hands) would then proceed to fist the orifice of his victim. Georges would proceed to insert his penis into the fist within the orifice and masturbate to ejaculation.
Georges used "the only lubrication worthy of a true Canadian Gold Man", maple syrup. He would chug the syrup, while cursing the Queen and lavishly praising Gold.
Modernly, the act has changed to honor hockey legend, Wayne Gretzky (many considered it source of his greatness). A proper rendition of Canada's History now requires that the victim be bent over, face resting in the cup, which is filled to the brim with maple syrup.
The act risks asphyxiation and is so dangerous that Canadian Healthcare System uses a form called a 1206c(h), which is to be filled out in the case of injuries resulting from the act.
Roommate 1: Geez, eh, you were loud last night with that girl. What were you doing in there, Canadas History?
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.
Roommate 2: No, but not for a lack of trying, eh. We were out of maple syrup.
Roommate 1: Fine Canadians we are eh? Forgive us Georges.
by kingkongNINJA February 06, 2010
A depraved sex act which involves inserting the stanley cup in to a womens ass. Then soaking your penis in maple syrup. Sticking the maple syrup up her vagina. then takeing your maple syrup soaked penis and comencing to throat fuck the women all while humming "oh canada"
Thanks stephen colbert
Thanks stephen colbert
guy 1: you know that Rachel girl?
Guy 2: yeah.
Guy 1: dude i gave her the complete canadas history last night!
Guy 2: yeah.
Guy 1: dude i gave her the complete canadas history last night!
by That fatguy February 05, 2010
The most depraved sexual act known to mankind kept as a hidden secret from Canada to preserve its' innocence. In detail, the ******** are inserted into ******* using the ******* with ******** moose antlers ****** **** ***** maple syrup **** ***** around five times ***** *** ******* until the **** ***** affectionately called "the Mounties" use **** ***** all over the ****. The resulting **** ***** *** ****** are then used as lubricant for ******** **** **** into ****** **** **** with ***** **** **** Stanley Cup.
by EvilLepper February 05, 2010