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CallumTech 

A Bad YouTube gay pornagraphic channel
Oh you're so CallumTech
CallumTech by i_ate_the_kids September 9, 2020
Urban Dictionary Merch

CallumTech 

You are a CallumTech
CallumTech by i_ate_the_kids September 9, 2020

Calltech 

The most ass outsourcing company in the world. They basically pay you 9 bucks an hour to sit on a phone and be a script monkey while drunk, angry rednecks call to complain that the service sucks because they can't spell their fucking password and/or don't know what a username is. (True story.) Furthermore, half the time, your diagnostic tools are hopelessly broken, and you're forced to "do the best you can." Management is a joke, as most of the time, the managers just hang out in their office or the breakroom, play with numbers, take three-hour lunch breaks, and leave early.

They have health and dental packages, but the coverage sucks shit and gets taken out of your paycheck. They don't give sick days, they give sick HOURS, as if you're supposed to recover from the flu in four hours and get back to work. You can't take the day off if you're sick unless you have PERSONAL VACATION TIME to use up. If you stay home with your sick child, you're reprimanded, and if you do it again, you get fired.

They also have a ridiculously high turnover rate - people usually quit after a month or so - and they're sometimes forced to put uncertified trainees on the call floor with a script and a prayer. This further exacerbates the first problem, as callers seeking help are frustrated with people that honestly don't know what they're doing, which gives them and the company they outsource for a bad image.

If you work the evening shift, your night will basically work like this:

3:30 PM - Come in early to make a good impression on the boss, only to be told that they don't want you in the building more than 15 minutes before your shift, and you are summarily thrown out.

3:45 PM - Come back in and rush for the next 15 minutes and try to find an unoccupied cubicle. Yes, you don't get your own workstation, you have to share one with all the stupid whackbag employees.

4:00 PM - Shift starts. Steady call flow, not too bad.

5:00 PM - Morning shift ends. You get hit with the backlog as there are suddenly too few agents on the floor that know what they're doing and give a shit about the customer.

5:00 PM to 9:30 PM - Trying hopelessly to clear out a massive queue in the call gate.

9:30 PM - Calls finally slow down as customers give up and go to bed.

10:00 PM to 12:00 AM - Boredom sets in. Only a few incoming calls. You see, you're pretty much not allowed to do anything at your desk but twiddle your thumbs when you are available. Oh, wait, that's right, you don't get your own desk.

11:59 PM - Just as you're about to log out for the night, Bubba calls you with some huge, convoluted problem.

12:59 AM - Finally get Bubba off the phone after finding out it's nothing you can help them with anyway, yet they still believe YOU broke their computer and want to cancel their service. As you clock out and head to the door, one of the supervisors bitches you out for spending so long on that last call and staying for an hour of "unapproved overtime."

In short, it's a company bound for the shitter. Stay away, stay away...
Calltech seriously needs to go Chapter 11.

calltech 

calltech is a fucking shithole of a company. it's a damn disaster of worthless, incompetent, jackasses that are pulled right out of the ghetto. they are such fukking idiots, it makes me feel like thomas edison.
fukk calltech, fukk the queer-ass-pumping points system, fukk the managers that think they are anything god-damn special, they can lick my dirty nut sack just the same. fukking idiots.
calltech by calltech fukker July 16, 2008

calltech 

this computer place where we answer phones and get paid to push buttons and help people make their computers work.
1: hey man, it sucks not having a job.
2: dude you should get a job at calltech cause they pay really well.
1: that sopunds like a great idea.
calltech by Mik Ferret February 23, 2004
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Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
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murderhobo 

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Concrete cowboy 

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Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
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