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author is open to hearing about dead batteries 

an AO3 tag for smut fanfiction meaning the author of said fic is open to hearing about readers masturbating to the fic.
"its fine to tell me that you jerked off to my fics as long as the fic has the author is open to hearing about dead batteries tag."

santa claus batteries

The poor quality batteries that arrive already installed in electronic toys that you'd recieve on Christmas. Typically green and red, gold and red, or any combination of the three. And ususally weighing about half of what a duracell, or energizer would weigh. Toshiba is a common brand of Santa Claus batteries
person 1- Dude, did you get barreries for the digital camera?

person 2- Yeah man. They're those silver ones, ya know, the kind with the black cat jumping through the number nine.

person 1- Oh fuck! Those are like santa claus batteries. They don't even have the power to turn the camera on!
santa claus batteries by Buzzer December 23, 2007

Bakerized 

to totally fuck something up by means that are unexplainable by any human being
That anvil was whole until he Bakerized it into three pieces. "That guy could fuck up an anvil."
Bakerized by N1 November 7, 2005

chemlight batteries 

n; fictional object used by military personel to confuse newb signal soldiers in to looking stupid in front of they're superiors
"damn, i cant see shit in here. Salazar, go to supply and see if they have anymore chemlight batteries"
chemlight batteries by living proof December 12, 2003

battered sav

Originally an Australian term for a hot dog sausage (saveloy) battered and deep fried, commentary of the 2000 Olympics Men's Gymnastics by Australian comedic duo Roy & HG on "The Dream" redefined it as a move where a (male) gymnast leaps into the air, lands in a push-up position and touches his groin to the floor - thereby 'battering' his 'sav'.
See also: flat bag, hello boys, dutch wink, crazy date, party date, spinning date
.. and the russian gymnast lands the double corkscrew, now he batters the sav... yes, that was a nice battered sav, straight into the crazy date

Butlerized 

To be transformed into someone's bitch.

The process through which it happens is called butlerization.

The author is called the butlerizer.
Tom: Dude, you should gather the wood and setup the tent
Nick: No prob man
Tom: You've been butlerized
Butlerized by stimpsy July 14, 2016