A bizarre sexual practice found only in retirement homes. As nursing staff are generally unwilling to assist, participants must make imaginative use of the equipment in the disabled toilet.
TV researchers have dedicated a disproportionate amount of time to this activity, mysteriously without ever airing any of the results.
Verb-comes from the popular yellow and pink cake. Shoving battenburg cake up someone's anus. Can be for sexual pleasure or simply a solution for disposing of left over cake.
Can also be interpreted as a threat.
"Hey Donny, if you don't gimme my money by thursday imma sneak into your house and battenburg you! D'ya hear?!"
or
Guy to girlfriend "hey baby, this may be a little weird but would you be into battenburging?"