Assmetrics

Asinine methods to measure, track, assess business processes as a way for upper management to generate an impractical spreadsheet.

We did not get our bonus this year because our sales director has compiled a fiscal revenue report based on assmetrics..

by Panda2980 March 8, 2023

ASSymetrical Information

(Noun)When a member of the opposite sex believes sexual activity is about to occur when you actually know it is not an option.

This definition was born first year of MBA school w/ my friend and I after I had a few movie watching nights with a guy.

I dont know where he got that ASSymetrical information from but I had to end the movie then.

by Mamta March 1, 2005

Assetricks and Knobelix

Stimulating your anus while gracefully delivering a blowjob to your partner and just before he blows, you pull away, take your finger out your ass and stick it up his nose so that he ejaculates with the smell of your shit in his nostril. He will be disgusted and pleasured at the same time... for the more experienced sexual adventurer.

Hey, I did an Assetricks and Knobelix on my bf last night. He said it shook his very foundation.

by SmuttyBoobs November 22, 2009

ASSymetrical Information

When a woman can't hide her feelings for a guy. Usually leads to stalking and restraining orders.

She got that info for me, dog. She's a sophmore at UT and likes Lenny Kravitz. I can't miss.

by anon March 3, 2005

Miss Assmerica

The winner of the Miss Assmerica pageant. The Miss Assmerica pageant is held to determine which contestant has the best posterior and will be crowned Miss Assmerica.

Here she comes, Miss Assmerica!

Oh baby, you should definately enter the Miss Assmerica pageant!

This years Miss Assmerica was stripped of her crown today in light of several allegations that she has not shown her booty to anyone public or private in months.

by chopswood January 9, 2011