sperm check

When another man points out a piece of food and/or thick sauce on another mans face. Usually around the lips.

Alex walks in with a bit of ranch on his lips
Bill, "Sperm Check."
*Alex quickly wipes ranch from lips*

by tittysprinklers December 1, 2013

Sperm web

Noun. It is a phenomenon that happens when a girl is being “courted” by a guy and they are about to get serious and then suddenly all of her exes, hoes, or random men start showing up trying to earn her affection. It’s as if all men are subconsciously connected through this sperm web.

“Bruh my ex boyfriend just texted me he misses me!” “Oh my god, ugh it must be the sperm web”

by Lolbrono January 16, 2023

wrinkley sperm

The sperm of an autistic or special needs person

When I walked in there was wrinkley sperm everywhere

by Speaker of maniquins March 15, 2018

Jesus Sperm Theory

We are in a universe sized sperm cell from Jesus and it's going normal sperm speed but we are so small it feels like forever

"Jesus Sperm Theory saved my life man"- Jeffrey Epstein

by Saddam Huissain June 18, 2023

Sperm Whale

Offensive term reserved for a plus-sized, oftentimes abusive person who seeks to date primarily for sex. The same way the animal has a sperm-like substance found in its body, a person who is a sperm whale typically has a high body count and has been ejaculated in by many different people.

Lmao, loser finally gets his first gf?

Opinion rejected, you're with a fucking sperm whale.

by Alzorbongus June 20, 2024

sperm loogie

When you get a large wad of sperm in your throat and you have to release the phlegm-y substance by hacking up a loogie

God damn sperm loogies all up in my throat, haaaaack spuu

by dong in a thong October 10, 2016

T-Spermed

When you're having a quickie and, to save trouble and mess, you ask the a guy to cum in your mouth but one or both of you timed it wrong so he ends up finishing on your T-Shirt.

"Jake T-Spermed again"

by barbiehorror August 5, 2016