polishing the torpedo

1. To Masturbate; jack off

2. To furiously clean the penis

3. To actually clean and polish a torpedo

"Yo Marcus, what are you doing in the bathroom for so long, I have to take a shower?"

"I'm polishing the torpedo."

"Gross, just don't leave me any surprises in the tub..."

by marcus daniel malloid March 25, 2008

Arctic Torpedo

Rub near frozen lube on your arm, then begin to anal fist your girlfriend, once inside pull out as fast as possible and then thrust your fist back into the gaping asshole.

"Hey Sam, I arctic torpedoed Claire last night." "How was it?" "It was cool."

by cb9 October 11, 2009

rusty torpedo

When your ex girlfriend leave behind her dildo and you proceed to use it on your next girlfriend.

Gina came over last night and I gave her Olivia's rusty torpedo!

by Captain Backhand August 8, 2006

photon torpedo

Weapon carried by Federation starships, mostly used for blowing up Klingons.

Photon torpedos, fire!- Kirk, Picard, Janeway, etc..

by Andz August 8, 2005

ass torpedo

When you yell FIRE IN THE HOLE.. ANd ram your cock up your ladies ass..

I gave jen an ass torpedo and she moaned like a mother fucker

by AssTrumpetier September 2, 2006

torpedo turd

A (usually large) turd that lands head first in the drain part of the toilet, half of it already disappearing into the drain.

I started the day with a perfect torpedo turd and launched that baby right out to sea. I am the Captain of the Bathroom!

by ia52601 April 28, 2014

brown torpedo

when you stand over a sleeping person and take a shit on their face.

that brown torpedo hit my face and splattered.

by blockrader August 22, 2009