Oral Coitus

The act of mouth sex.

Man, last night I was about to have myself some coitus, but then she started giving me Oral Coitus with her fucking mouth.

by Bromosexual22 November 19, 2009

aborting coitus

An exlamatory phrase used by the male individual prior to sex after surreptitiously sniffing his fingers which have swabbed the vagina of his potential mate.

Benjamin pushed his index finger deeply into the prostitute's vagina, and while she wasn't looking, sniffed it. It smelled like rotten fish and old cheese, so he screamed 'ABORTING COITUS' and ran from the room.

by CosmicBuffalo December 14, 2015

Coitus Coach

An alternative to 'fuckbuddy'. Two people who share purely physical relations.

Danny : Have you heard about Joe?! He's dating Alice!
Adie : Nah man. He's just her coitus coach.

by Gdog. August 28, 2009

coitus

Sexual intercourse, where the male inserts his penis in to the female's vagina. The majority of males are stimulated in to ejaculating liquid filled with millions of semen.

Barney: Yeah let's have sex.
Sesame Street chick: Sex?
Barney: Coitus. Or oral sex?
Sesame Street chick: Yes. mmmm... nom nom nom.
(_(_)!!!!!!D ---> O:

by SatanIsHere December 23, 2009

coitus

Another word for sexual intercourse. More frequently used with other animals than with humans.

Couples can have coitus.

by OnlyProperDefinitions August 10, 2016

Post-Coitus Purple Porpoise

The purple walrus that comes to congratulate you after successful coitus.

Guy1: Dude, I totally got to meet the Post-Coitus Purple Porpoise after my date with Sally this week end.
Guy2:Nice, dude, nice.

by GangstaGangsta214 March 22, 2009

labial contusion

From the latin for bruising of the vagina.
A term used when a male friend gets a scrapped knee or other minor cut from mountain biking, skiing, or other outdoor activity and whinges about it.

Adam: My neck hurts a little.
Dave: Gee adam, maybe you need some homeopathic salve for that labial contusion?

by pauld August 29, 2006