Jesus Eyes

1) Eyes that are slightly glazed over and wide.
-Enlarged pupils but not red
-Could be mistaken as being on drugs.
-Usually associated with a blinding white smile.

2) Judgmental tolerance; superficial
-Tend to be flight attendants, members of choir groups and owner's of craft-stores.
-Support Prop 8, wear pearls and look like Stepford Wives.

Is she stoned or is she so fake that she has Jesus Eyes ?
by Al Harwin November 19, 2008
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Reverse Jesus

Reverse Jesus was born on Good Friday and died on Christmas day, when he was hunted down by three wise men for outstanding debts of frankincense and myrrh. Reverse Jesus turns wine into water, and kills YOU for his sins.
Reverse Jesus makes you forget how to fish entirely.
by -________________- April 04, 2008
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Beer Jesus

Partner drinking game strategy of consuming your partner's beer to ensure they stay less drunk and more effective. Instead of taking their sins, you take their alcohol for the greater good.
Don't worry Mark, I'll be your Beer Jesus. America!
by Kjellmaster 9000 March 26, 2011
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jesus walks

A term used to signify that something has gone well, often in a case where a lucky turn of events has gone in your favour.
Person 1: "Shit, I got in to a car accident today, but the person I hit was a hot chick and I ended up railing her"
Person 2: "Holy shit, Jesus walks"
by Teeth September 10, 2004
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jesus week

A length of time equaling 12 days.
It's a long trip. We'll be back in a jesus week. See you next month.
by ChuckChaser69 December 21, 2009
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Jesus Rape

When a fundamental Christian attempts to push their religious beliefs on you even after you said "NO!"
The defination jesus rape explains itself.
by redneckatheist.com March 09, 2006
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pet jesus

A pet about 40 cm's tall. It waddles around like a penguin and sucks in its checks. It cannot talk. You hold it on a leach and it occasionally tugs on your skirt but only because it wants attention. They look like a miniature versions of Jesus, hence the reason for the name.. They cannot blink but have huge eyes and very small pupils. Pet Jesus's wear a typical Jesus style garment and only eat crackers...lots and lots of crackers..... They do not drink anything.

A pet jesus makes an adorable pet yet they are commonly found at the pound as their owners get tired of them because they are a constant nuisance. They are also incredibly creepy, for example they do not sleep. When you go to bed it will stand right next to your bed and stare at you for the duration of the night and most people find this incredibly violating and terrifying...
John: Hey bob, i see you have brought along your pet jesus

Bob: Yup, got any crackers?

John: Sure Thaaaang!
by Petjesus November 10, 2010
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