by selmermarkvi February 5, 2025
Get the Part-time baddiemug. Son: "In order to lie.... I had to fail the test."
Dad: *pulls off shoe and throws it at son*
Son: "Ow! Dad, don't you want this? This way no one will kn-"
Dad: *pulls out glock 19 and starts firing at son*
Son: *barely dodges bullets* "Dad, stop!"
Dad: "You fail test! You stoobid! You not my son!" *pulls out AK-102*
Son: *gets hit in leg* "Ow! Dad, you have to stop!"
Dad: *ignores son* *dismembers son with five shells from a Challenger 2*
Son: *groans in agony*
Dad: *tases what's left of son's body *
Son: *attempts to scream in agony, but instead blood comes out of his mouth*
Dad: "You not my son! Son no fail test!" *lifts off in a A-10 Warthog armed with the Gauzer machine gun*
Son: "Please dad.....please..."
Dad: *crashes plane into son, ejecting himself 30 inches from the ground*
Son: .
Dad: *raids a U.S. Army bunker and steals 10 nukes*
Dad: *nukes house with son in it, then nukes the whole country just for good measure*
Dad: *evades paparazzi and kills families to live in their houses for 4 decades*
Dad: *becomes president, nukes the world then uses mods to terraform Mars*
Dad: *rapes your mom 10 times to repopulate the human race*
Dad: *eventually dies at age 142, wearing a suit with a red rose in his lapel and sunglasses*
Dad: *pulls off shoe and throws it at son*
Son: "Ow! Dad, don't you want this? This way no one will kn-"
Dad: *pulls out glock 19 and starts firing at son*
Son: *barely dodges bullets* "Dad, stop!"
Dad: "You fail test! You stoobid! You not my son!" *pulls out AK-102*
Son: *gets hit in leg* "Ow! Dad, you have to stop!"
Dad: *ignores son* *dismembers son with five shells from a Challenger 2*
Son: *groans in agony*
Dad: *tases what's left of son's body *
Son: *attempts to scream in agony, but instead blood comes out of his mouth*
Dad: "You not my son! Son no fail test!" *lifts off in a A-10 Warthog armed with the Gauzer machine gun*
Son: "Please dad.....please..."
Dad: *crashes plane into son, ejecting himself 30 inches from the ground*
Son: .
Dad: *raids a U.S. Army bunker and steals 10 nukes*
Dad: *nukes house with son in it, then nukes the whole country just for good measure*
Dad: *evades paparazzi and kills families to live in their houses for 4 decades*
Dad: *becomes president, nukes the world then uses mods to terraform Mars*
Dad: *rapes your mom 10 times to repopulate the human race*
Dad: *eventually dies at age 142, wearing a suit with a red rose in his lapel and sunglasses*
No wonder we never saw that kid again.... Holy shit!
And that's why you've never heard of: Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2
And that's why you've never heard of: Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2
by PORGSSSS November 28, 2023
Get the Asians taking a lie detector test Part 2mug. Alone together on a Saturday or Sunday night, during a quiet moment by the pool, we may have shared a pancake dinner together, or practiced ordering another pancake dinner that would actually never come -- from Denny's, if Denny's existed back then, or from our favorite seedy restaurant in Reseda or Van Nuys.
We may have waited for our perfect pancake dinner for hours, may have watched capitalism's slow, factory corruption in slow motion, and may have made promises of love and loyalty to each other so severe that here we are again, in the next life, enjoying pancake dinner together again. 🥞
Pancake dinner, big brother. Don't worry -- little brother is on the way to save the day. Tonight, tomorrow, and always.
(if you like this writing style, you're going to love the book of bisexual men's short stories, The Stories of John Cheever, when that part of your 39th birthday present arrives late ^_^)
We may have waited for our perfect pancake dinner for hours, may have watched capitalism's slow, factory corruption in slow motion, and may have made promises of love and loyalty to each other so severe that here we are again, in the next life, enjoying pancake dinner together again. 🥞
Pancake dinner, big brother. Don't worry -- little brother is on the way to save the day. Tonight, tomorrow, and always.
(if you like this writing style, you're going to love the book of bisexual men's short stories, The Stories of John Cheever, when that part of your 39th birthday present arrives late ^_^)
Pancake dinner part 3. CHONCHLATE CHIP PANCAKES, two eggs, poached, on wheat bread (toast), chonchlate milkshake, and a soda, Pepsi or Coke, should be no more than z16s.
by t_hags December 6, 2024
Get the pancake dinner part 3mug. by cyberpowerjoonee October 6, 2024
Get the Seedy part of townmug. Parts Authority, founded in 1972, is one of the largest distributors of automotive and truck parts to the aftermarket auto parts industry in the United States serving customers in the commercial channel, including installers, dealerships, fleets, and national accounts as well as in the e-commerce channel. Headquartered in Lake Success, NY, Parts Authority has over 200 locations across the Northeast, Mid-Atlantic, Ohio, Georgia, Florida, Texas, Arizona, California, Utah, and the Pacific Northwest.
by wally_1972 November 23, 2021
Get the Parts Authoritymug. And people who are basically pseudo-politicians.
Hym “Any-who, where was I? Oh right, politicians are basically retards and we live in dystopia. Yeah, so... you got more people to work hard... how many of those people are ‘living lives of quiet desperation’ and how far past the first bottleneck did they make it? The next hierarchical bottleneck? One of them made a widget or a do-dad that ensures a retirement at a time of their choosing... their fuck trophies take the extra special fuck trophy path in life and don’t have to do the thing they expect me to do... and we haven’t found a better way, right? Let me ask you something.... If I found a better way, would you allow me to implement it? I mean, you won’t even let me take credit for the contents of my own mind. So no. I would have to kill you all. Just like my current situation.... you would need me to kill you all... and then you could say ‘See!? See!? Look how many people that system kills!!! Our thing was so much better because instead of violence we use subterfuge and emotional abuse (literal emotional abuse, ha!)!’ I don’t see how that doesn’t just make as the slave with one hundred masters... which is why YouTubers all sell ‘hard work.’ Work hard.... so you can afford to add a new master. You get to choose!
Hym “Any-who, where was I? Oh right, politicians are basically retards and we live in dystopia. Yeah, so... you got more people to work hard... how many of those people are ‘living lives of quiet desperation’ and how far past the first bottleneck did they make it? The next hierarchical bottleneck? One of them made a widget or a do-dad that ensures a retirement at a time of their choosing... their fuck trophies take the extra special fuck trophy path in life and don’t have to do the thing they expect me to do... and we haven’t found a better way, right? Let me ask you something.... If I found a better way, would you allow me to implement it? I mean, you won’t even let me take credit for the contents of my own mind. So no. I would have to kill you all. Just like my current situation.... you would need me to kill you all... and then you could say ‘See!? See!? Look how many people that system kills!!! Our thing was so much better because instead of violence we use subterfuge and emotional abuse (literal emotional abuse, ha!)!’ I don’t see how that doesn’t just make as the slave with one hundred masters... which is why YouTubers all sell ‘hard work.’ Work hard.... so you can afford to add a new master. You get to choose!
Politicians part 2: Breaking Down
It’s not real-slavery is you get to choice your master... and you have several... how many can you afford? Work harder so you can add a few more. Don’t share your Netflix password. That’s allowing people to avoid the slavery... Don’t watch the piracy of my movie... that I copy-and-pasted from urban dictionary.... buy my book... where I nitpick information from the books that I’ve read and/or sell my molested clients stories! Hey guys! Where was Christian God while that guys butthole was getting fucked? Where was he? Do you know? Do you have a guess? Something to muse on... I mean, if the creature was watching then it’s a pedophile.... You know that right? It’s likely that it exists outside of time and I’ve already killed it. Which is neat. But that means I can’t rewind time and fuck the whore instead of the retard (news guy... that’s not how time works).... Hmmm.... Hey! Maybe Nietzsche had a near death experience! I WILL probably end up talking to him after I kill the creature... 🤔 That would make sense. This was a long one. I’ll come back to it.”
It’s not real-slavery is you get to choice your master... and you have several... how many can you afford? Work harder so you can add a few more. Don’t share your Netflix password. That’s allowing people to avoid the slavery... Don’t watch the piracy of my movie... that I copy-and-pasted from urban dictionary.... buy my book... where I nitpick information from the books that I’ve read and/or sell my molested clients stories! Hey guys! Where was Christian God while that guys butthole was getting fucked? Where was he? Do you know? Do you have a guess? Something to muse on... I mean, if the creature was watching then it’s a pedophile.... You know that right? It’s likely that it exists outside of time and I’ve already killed it. Which is neat. But that means I can’t rewind time and fuck the whore instead of the retard (news guy... that’s not how time works).... Hmmm.... Hey! Maybe Nietzsche had a near death experience! I WILL probably end up talking to him after I kill the creature... 🤔 That would make sense. This was a long one. I’ll come back to it.”
by Hym Iam November 1, 2022
Get the Politicians part 2: Breaking Downmug. Any lyric or segment in a song where the singer sings with such powerful emotion, it almost sounds like they are crying.
Famous Crying Parts:
"Never thought a rumor would ruin my moonlight!" -Brendan Flowers
"It's time I got back, it's time I got back, and I don't even know how I got off the track!" -Rivers Cuomo
"he's fighting and fighting and riding on his horse" -John McRea
"Never thought a rumor would ruin my moonlight!" -Brendan Flowers
"It's time I got back, it's time I got back, and I don't even know how I got off the track!" -Rivers Cuomo
"he's fighting and fighting and riding on his horse" -John McRea
by BarackObama1138thx August 22, 2011
Get the Crying Partmug.