according to my calculations

Something that nerds say all the time

"According to my calculations, the square root of all finite numbers is equivalent to yada yada yada"

by Hitterdog November 20, 2015

calculus

Calculus, which was discovered by Newton and Liebniz, nothwithstanding all credit being given to Newton, is one of the most beautiful forms of intellectual material. Calculus requires and emphasizes the development of new methods of thinking, and therefore it is not for the weak minded. Calculus has many practical applications including molecular and ecological biology, physics, engineering, social and political sciences, and business. After completing a very involved and thought-provoking problem involving differential equations or integrals, one might feel a certain "high."

Dude 1: "Yo man I got some bomb-ass shit that will fuck you up. Let's go blaze."
Dude 2: "Nah dude I got this problem for calc homework that involves differential equations and slope fields, and if I figure it out, my high will be stronger than the high off the strongest chronic"

by nirvanarageatm December 17, 2004

Calculated

When someone does something really cool that took an outrageous amount of luck or effort. Sometimes it takes lots of planning.

Dude 1: I'm going to make this basket from 100 feet away!
Dude 2: Shit, can you really?
*Dude 1 makes the shot*
Dude 2: Shit Dude! That throw was calculated!

by prismajas May 30, 2018

Calculus

Calculus is for anyone who ever complained that math isn't useful for anything. Calculus is a branch of mathematics that deals with problems involving changing rates. It has universal applications, finding its way into physics, engineering, medicine, economics, and anything that involves something changing. Calculus commands a great deal of notoreity from students learning it. But, like any form of mathematics, it is all pure logic, and if you understand it, it can be a very beautiful thing.

Newton and Leibniz both developed calculus on there own. Inventing calculus; now how fucking brilliant do you have to be to INVENT calculus? Pretty damn fucking brilliant.

by Fernando Martinez January 2, 2009

AP Calculus

Possibly the most difficult and rigorous class offered at ANY HIGH SCHOOL! This class will determine how much stress one can go through. Even students that have a 4.0 GPA have a difficult time in this class. Some students that have a GPA of about 1.0-2.9(if possible they will get in this class!) and students that have a GPA of about 3.0-3.9 might not be recommended by their counselor unless they have at least a 85% in all of their math classes. This class is taken by mostly all Seniors and a few Juniors if possible. If a Freshman or a Sophomore was accepted to take this class...THEY WILL NOT MAKE IT OUT ALIVE AND THEIR GPA WILL HORRIBLY DROP...RAPIDLY! Especially if the teacher a student has is a dick. :(

Senior Student- "Ugh... Hell Week has officially started and now I have to pull off all nighters every 2 days to study for my lame upcoming final in AP Calculus!"

Meanwhile after school

AP Calculus Teacher-"Heh Heh Heh. I can't wait to see the look on every student's face since I threw in several Calculus II and III problems.

Final Exam Day

Senior Student- "Phew. I pulled off 3 all nighters for this piece of sh*t Final I'm about to take." *Looks at Final* "WTF?! My teacher never taught me this!"

*AP Teacher looks at student and laughs in his head* "Muhahahaha!!!"

by AP Legend December 24, 2010

calculus

Calculus is how we know everything about everything, except sex, maybe.

It is also a name for the page and a half of indecipherable foreplay used in university physics textbooks before they give you the formula for something.

Engineering student: I forgot the formula for the volume of a sphere, but I was able to figure it out from the area of a circle using calculus.
Non-engineering student: I looked in the back of the textbook.

by Nick Bentzen April 11, 2008

Calcutta splutter

A long and haphazard trail of liquidized faeces, left by dogs with serious gastro-intestinal problems.

With wonder and awe we followed the Calcutta Splutter from avenue to alleyway.

by TheDefenestrator April 15, 2005