wooden cock

Wooden cock- A device used to engage in sex with men who have no genitals.

Girl - wanna have sex?
Man- Let me get my wooden cock

by Sexyassgrizzlybear May 26, 2016

Woodenism

Woodenism is a cult luke burrow and martin chalk invented.

This the religion of the Wood. The universe is the great oak tree in the sky, and each fruit on it's brances is a different galaxy. We believe that wood has helped humanity and the world to be like the way it is today.

As we speak, the founders of Woodenism are creating the Royal Book Of Wood, It is the bible of Woodenism, full of the works of wood throughout history, and how we can relate them to moden times.

There is a group on Facebook donated to Woodenism, please come and join our cult and we can use wood to help us decide what is right and wrong in life.

"May the wood be with all of you"
"And with you my fellow fellow"
"These are the words of Woodenism"

by Luke Burrow April 11, 2010

Woodend

A small town in Australia half way between Melbourne and Bendigo. Citizens from the half suburban/half country town tend to believe that they live in the "country" and take pleasure out of bagging the "city folk". With at least 4 shitty pizza shops, Woodend folk often turn up to the "19th Hole Shopping Centre" wearing slippers and hairy clothes. While woodend claims to have farmers, most only own 3 horses and a labrador. Woodend is always cold but never quite snows, bringing disappointment in the peak of every winter. Woodend has one high school which almost no one can afford, forcing people to go to surrounding schools that are filled with drugs and do not offer sufficient transport facilities. Twelvies from Woodend are significantly worse than they are from other town and are gaining in numbers by the day. Whilst their not as bad as year 7's from Kyenton, they make the seniors of the area ashamed. Even though Woodend is a hole, it remains better than Kyenton, Macedon and Riddells Creek. At least it's main income is not from a dodgy af costume shop.

Also, Woodend does not have Nando's or Taco Bills.

"Hey guys, lets take a trip down to Woodend for overpriced pizza."
"Na m8, lets go to Gisborne. Their Depetro's didn't go out of business within a year of opening."
"Even better, lets go to Sunbury! I hear there hasn't been a stabbing there in 3 weeks!"

by Angrysoccermum April 5, 2015

Wooden Computer

When a persons computer loads so slowly in a game that his computer is said to be made from a substance uncapable of conducting electricity such as wood.

the substance can also be substituted with another substance more cheap then wood eg. african mud bricks

originates from computer games with servers where players must wait for everyone to connect before the game can start. the player who loads last is said to have a wooden computer.

*everyones loaded except dave*

nerd 1 : wow dave as such a wooden computer

nerd 2 : yea totally made from 100 year old wood from africa

by skuxx :D June 10, 2011

Wooden Coat

Another term for a coffin.

Kid's going to end up wearing a wooden coat if he keeps up this shit.

by PCooper May 6, 2008

Wooden Spoon Award

A wooden spoon is a mock or real award, usually given to an individual or team which has come last in a competition, but sometimes also to runners-up. Examples range from the academic to sporting and more frivolous events. The term is of British origin and has spread to other Commonwealth countries.

I can't believe what a comeback they made they got the Wooden Spoon Award last year"

by Immersion September 28, 2011

wooden shampoo

noun - The act of being beat over the head by a billy club

...then the cop said to me, "do that again and you will get the wooden shampoo!"

by lickity-split June 15, 2005