Woodend

A small town in Australia half way between Melbourne and Bendigo. Citizens from the half suburban/half country town tend to believe that they live in the "country" and take pleasure out of bagging the "city folk". With at least 4 shitty pizza shops, Woodend folk often turn up to the "19th Hole Shopping Centre" wearing slippers and hairy clothes. While woodend claims to have farmers, most only own 3 horses and a labrador. Woodend is always cold but never quite snows, bringing disappointment in the peak of every winter. Woodend has one high school which almost no one can afford, forcing people to go to surrounding schools that are filled with drugs and do not offer sufficient transport facilities. Twelvies from Woodend are significantly worse than they are from other town and are gaining in numbers by the day. Whilst their not as bad as year 7's from Kyenton, they make the seniors of the area ashamed. Even though Woodend is a hole, it remains better than Kyenton, Macedon and Riddells Creek. At least it's main income is not from a dodgy af costume shop.

Also, Woodend does not have Nando's or Taco Bills.

"Hey guys, lets take a trip down to Woodend for overpriced pizza."
"Na m8, lets go to Gisborne. Their Depetro's didn't go out of business within a year of opening."
"Even better, lets go to Sunbury! I hear there hasn't been a stabbing there in 3 weeks!"

by Angrysoccermum April 5, 2015

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Wooden shield

Ultra-effective chess tactic whereby a diagonal piece (i.e. a bishop or a queen) attacks 4 opponent pieces at the same time, so that the attacked pieces form an X-shape between each other, thus (according to legendary chess grandmaster xQc) resembling a wooden shield. The best move in response to the wooden shield tactic is considered to be resignation, as computers are yet to find a position where any response to the tactic doesn't lose on the spot. The tactic is considered to be incomprehensible to inexperienced players and even grandmasters, and only exceptionally high-IQ individuals with an IQ of 107 over are considered to be capable of understanding it.

Coined by prominent proponent of the Bing-Bang-Boom chess philosophy GM xQc, the wooden shield is an essential part of the theory behind the Flying Dragon, Knight variation, as well as the Flying Dragon, I Take Your Pawn variation openings, which build upon the idea that early pawns don't matter - an idea repeatedly corroborated by top-of-the-line engines and neural nets such as AlphaZero.

Noob: I'm a queen, a rook, and two pieces up in material, this guy's got no chance.
107-IQ God: *smirks* Omae wa mou shindeiru
107-IQ God: *plays the wooden shield*
Noob: *resigns in shame*

by Jacques Hayeilliheaulds May 22, 2020

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