wooden spoon

The number one cause of disciplined children all over the world. (Though mainly of Portuguese descent) The wooden spoon is a dangerous weapon capable of ending the tantrum of even the most stubborn child.

No, mom! Not the wooden spoon! No I promise I won't throw anymore pipe bombs!

by CriticalDesign April 10, 2008

wooden spoon

A situation where a man is spooning a woman, and suddenly has an erection, in effect poking her in her rear. This is more common in the morning hours and is usually involuntary: essentially popping morning wood while spooning.

Steph was unpleasantly surprised to be awakened by the wooden spoon.

by hack314 February 11, 2007

wooden spoon

It is an erection ; or a boner. Usually a wooden spoon would be a pretty long erection, considering wooden spoons are usually about a foot long.

The boy popped a wooden spoon as he watched his neighbors have sex through their bedroom window.

by Ryan J G February 18, 2006

Wooden Spoon

A wooden spoon is a spoon that is used for stirring sauces and for mixing ingredients in cooking. It is made of wood and has a long handle. Not to be used to beat your children.

Person A: Man, my mom made some killer soup last night with a Wooden Spoon, and later used it to beat the shit out of me.
Person B: …That’s rough buddy.

by hydrateordiestraight January 3, 2022

Wooden Spooning

The act of hitting a girl's pussy with a wooden spoon to make it highly sensitve

I was wooden spooning my bitch.

by Jay-Jayster September 17, 2009

The Wooden Spoon

Instead of slapping your partner's ass in bed, you use a wooden spoon and ask him/her why they drank your sake.

"Have you ever tried "the Wooden Spoon"?"

Her: "Oh yeah slap my ass"
Him: *smacks ass with wooden spoon*
Him: "DID YOU DRINK ME SAKE??"

by Nicko Tay July 6, 2020

wooden spooning

The act of spooning but with a boner. Usually done by two people who are friends/lovers.

Not only were we spooning, but we were wooden spooning.

by Dusty Spangler December 1, 2006