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the bible

the bible is violent as fuck, if the bible were a movie and god wasn't willing to make any cuts the mpaa would deem it violent enough to get an nc-17 rating, the bible would only play in certain art house theaters and only gross a small amount of money, upon the bibles release on dvd the bible would not be available at walmart, best buy, blockbuster and many other retailers, the bible would not be shown on cable often. the bible would soon be forgotten about as most nc-17 rated films are.

the bible is also the best selling book ever made. it contains more sex and violence then any book ever written. people known as catholics want for you to read this graphicly violent and sexually explicit account of supposed real life events so badly, that they will give you a copy for free at any church.
the bible is an extremley violent book
by online handle August 29, 2006
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The Bible

1. Something that causes alcoholics to be become born again christians, then start drinking again.
2. Something Bush refers to but he cant read.
3. Is full of fictional stories, as Adam and Eve and a guy who lived inside a whale (how can you take this book seriously?)
4. Something people worship because they ignore science and listen to what mommy and daddy said because they're always right.
5. Purely fictional
6. Is disproven by evolution/big bang/laws of thermodynamics
christian: Im Sorry sir, but the bible says to lynch niggers.
african american: but the bible has no proof or says why you lynch black people.
christian: but your a nigger

dundundun
by captainatheism April 19, 2006
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Related Words

Bible

Christian religious text used to gain salvation through Christ and follow His word. Meant to create peace and spread kindness to all who read it and preach its words
by RidleyAnne December 24, 2020
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bible study

Slang for having sexual activity with someone & using the excuse of being religious, preferably with someone with the name of Jordan.
'Hey, I've got bible study tonight with Jordan.'
'Sorry Jasmine & Seazer, but my bible study with Jordan is far more important than feeding the homeless.'
by Awesomality January 2, 2014
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Pink Bible

Another term used for vagina. Can be used when talking about sex and religion.
Did you hear about the local pastor's sex scandal?

No, what.

I heard he left an offering in her pink bible.
by Reddhawks August 27, 2012
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Performative Bible

criminal-mafia republicans tweeting pious garbage to distract from being terrible
Suzie was perusing Twitter and came across Kelly Loeffler's tweet from book of Matthew. "Wait isn't she the insider-trading gal?" she thought to herself. "My god these depraved republicans always do Performative Bible like we don't know they broke the law"
by Uncle Joosie December 28, 2020
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The Bible

Church: "Did you read The Bible"
Priest: "yes"
by anonymous January 25, 2021
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