22 definition by Uncle Joosie

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When babies, dogs, kids or other people are so cute, and it becomes so aggravating, that you just want to squeeze them until their eyeballs pop out.
Karla bumped in to old-friend Susie on the street, with her three-month-old, Emmett, decked out in a sailor suit, giggling endlessly. "He is so adorable in that get-up that I just want to slap him," Karla remarked to Susie, who quickly explained that she was suffering from Violent Affection Syndrome (VAS). Susie took Emmett and kept walking down the street.
by Uncle Joosie April 17, 2014

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a bowel movement spread out over 2 or 3 intervals—like an opera or play.
early one morning, Timothy took a noticeably low-volume crap, and then flushed and washed his hands. A few minutes later he realized it was an Opera Poop—one that required a second and possibly a third visit to the toilet.
via giphy
by Uncle Joosie June 27, 2017

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An outsized, abnormally gigantic poop taken after a visit to Chicago where all sorts of high-calorie foods were consumed.
During a trip to Chicago, Tim had a cheeseburger platter and chocolate mayonnaise cake at Portillo's; deep-dish pizza at Bartoli’s; and a few hot dogs from street vendors. When he got back home to Connecticut, he sat on the toilet and dropped a gargantuan Chicago Deuce that was so huge it looked like a shipwreck.
by Uncle Joosie August 20, 2016

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Chyronalism (chyron + journalism) happens when news media fact-checks lying asshole fuckfaces like Donald Trump in on-screen graphics. "Chyronalism" has taken the place of actual journalism since profit-driven news media is all about access and ratings. They DGAF about confronting lying politicians to their faces, so they fact-check in the chyron.
Brindy was in the CNN production room during a live broadcast when she committed an act of Chyronalism; from a quick Google search she found Donald Trump to be a lying shitbird and corrected him on-screen in the chyron.
by Uncle Joosie August 14, 2016

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Trump's sole purpose for his "summit" with Putin.
Donnie Trump recently flew Air Force One to pleasure his Russian boss, Vlad Putin, with a handjob in Helsinki.
via giphy
by Uncle Joosie July 22, 2018

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when you follow someone on Twitter solely because they're smoking hot.
Kyle "Shallow Followed" Trevor on Twitter only because he saw that he's hot.

Kyle stumbled across Trevor today from a Retweet—and when he clicked over to Trevor's profile avi he saw that Trevor was super-fucking hot and muscly with a great smile. So Kyle Shallow-Followed him because he doesn't care what he tweets or says just so long as he's hot.
by Uncle Joosie July 27, 2016

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Canines afflicted with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
Sparky the terrier had Doggie ADD (DADD) *so bad* that he couldn't walk straight on the sidewalk or finish his meal without being distracted by a squirrel.
via giphy
by Uncle Joosie July 15, 2018

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