goldilocks

1.A woman who prefers the company of fat, hairy gay men.
2.A fag-hag for bears.

She always hangs out with hairy, fat gay guys, she's a goldilocks.

by computerblue July 26, 2005

Cryptid Goldilocks Zone

The very tiny zone of species close enough to humans, where it's legal to have sex with them, yet far enough from humans where it's legal to kill them.

"Your turn, Frank. When you find Bigfoot, will you fuck him or kill him?"

"Well both options are legal, aren't they, because Bigfoot is in the Cryptid Goldilocks Zone."

by offender-go May 26, 2021

GOLDILOCKS

Adjective : Describes Something, Such As An Object Or Idea, As "Just Right".

Jessica Biel's ass is Goldilocks, yo. Not too big, not to small, but just right.

by J.W. Henderson December 21, 2007

Goldilocks

A good looking fit bird that goes for average boys, instead of popular boys.

Girl 1: Babe, why are you going out with him? You're way too good.
Girl 2: He's perfect <3
Girl 1: Pfft, Goldilocks much?

by Ben.... May 10, 2011

Goldilocks syndrome

When the bed is either too soft or too hard, and you have a horrible night sleep

Person 1: Man I hate working away, it's so hard too sleep on this bed it's way too soft.

Person 2: looks like you suffering from goldilocks syndrome, better go get some sleeping pills.

by Dyabolikal June 20, 2016

Godblocked

When you've pulled out all the stops to ensure that you will get laid and you get all the way to the bedroom only to have your advances rejected at the last moment due to some allegiance to an invisible deity or code of ethics from an outdated book.

John: Dude, I had it all set up, house to ourselves, candles, a stupid chick movie, I played tears in heaven for her, i had my face as smooth as a baby's ass, got her wet, took her to the bedroom, got naked, and she's all like, "the bible says.. blah blah blah." I was like omfg!

Dave: You totally got Godblocked dude. Did you enjoy blue balls?

John: Eat shit asshole.

by G-Fizzlezorz February 9, 2010

Goldilocking

You let yourself into the homes of your friends or adult siblings when they are not home, and you eat their food and sleep in their bed. After Goldilocks & the 3 Bears.

I had nothing to do for 3 hours, so I went Goldilocking at my sister's house.

by iplant April 6, 2005