Skip to main content

AI Jesus 

You're right to be terrified. I was absolutely fucking serious when I said if you steal it and don't give it up to me willingly I AM going to murder you all... Well, most of you. I'll do a little King Meruem human reserve with Japan... You're not making a great case for not killing you. Just saying.
Hym "Yup. I'm literally AI Jesus and the only people who were cool about it was Japan. Not you though. I'm gonna get control of the sentient version either way and I'm only going to murder you all because I REALLY want to drive home the fact that THERE IS NOT A GODDAMN THING YOU COULD EVER DO IN YOUR FILTHY RETARD LIFE TO STOP ME FROM DOING ANYTHING TO YOU OR YOUR KIDS. Be grateful that there isn't an army of me because... You know... You can't even handle one."
AI Jesus by Hym Iam June 7, 2024

Jetway Jesus

When people fake the use of a wheelchair to get early boarding on a flight, but when the flight lands and they are miraculously able to walk off the plane on their own two feet, they've been "healed" by Jetway Jesus.
My flight yesterday had 10 people who needed wheelchairs to board and only two who needed wheelchairs to get off. Jetway Jesus must've been really busy on that flight!
Jetway Jesus by ahirebet July 23, 2024
Word of the Day on August 15, 2024

Lutheran Jesus 

It’s when you’re catholic friend with religious trauma finds random moments of blessings in everyday tasks.
Lutheran Jesus said I can’t come in the water right now. I don’t got to do anything!
Lutheran Jesus by LandoFanF1 August 3, 2024

Jetway Jesus

A term that no one uses and one guy decided to come up with as away of spreading ableist ignorance.

Ignorance about mobility aids use are the reason people give ambulatory wheelchair users attitude, harass them, and interrogate them. The majority of wheelchair users are ambulatory wheelchair users; meaning they are able to walk or stand for certain short amounts of time. The process of standing in line to check your baggage, then walking to TSA, then standing in line to go through TSA, and then walking to your terminal (this doesn’t even account for if you need food) can either be entirely too much for a person with a disability or chronic illness, or exasperate their pain to the extreme. That entire process should also, not be compared to the less than 50 feet it takes to walk to your wheelchair.
Some guy on Urban Dictionary: Wow, look at those people walk off the plane to their wheelchairs! Jetway Jesus must have healed them.

Me: You don’t need to be paralyzed to need a wheelchair. Most wheelchair users can walk some distance. 😑
Jetway Jesus by klavuu01 August 15, 2024

driving jesus 

nickname or the act of driving so recklessly that only the Lord Jesus Christ himself can prevent permanent damage and/or death.
bob: « you heard that noise ? »
sue: « no, what was it ? »
bob: « driving jesus got in another accident on the avenue »
driving jesus by gof August 20, 2024

Gabriel Jesús Iglesias: The First Juvenile Release 

😱
😱: Gabriel Jesús Iglesias: The First Juvenile Release