Council Houses And Violence:
Term used to describe people who think hanging round childrens play areas, stations, pubs (because they can't get in) and supermarkets is cool.
7 defining characteristics of a chav:
1) Wear caps which half hang off their head, usually burberry or nike tn
2) Illiterate
3) Socks are tucked into trouser (very cool!!)
4) Put on fake east london accents, to try and sound ghetto
5) Have fake gold ring, ear rings and chains
6) Listen to shit music
7) Start fights with just about anyone
Term used to describe people who think hanging round childrens play areas, stations, pubs (because they can't get in) and supermarkets is cool.
7 defining characteristics of a chav:
1) Wear caps which half hang off their head, usually burberry or nike tn
2) Illiterate
3) Socks are tucked into trouser (very cool!!)
4) Put on fake east london accents, to try and sound ghetto
5) Have fake gold ring, ear rings and chains
6) Listen to shit music
7) Start fights with just about anyone
by jimbo May 13, 2005
Get the chavmug. by ejdowski face September 15, 2008
Get the chavmug. The chav is normally a class of people below working class, i.e classless if you like. They have no money of their own as they get all of this from the government.. how nice of them. Getting payed to do nothing, and incentive to have many many offspring - as they get even more money for this. And, free housing.
The chav father is typically 12 - 17 years of age , towards their early 20's they will have roughly 10 chilren of whom all have different mothers.
The same applies to the chav mother except she will have 10 children of different fathers! this is how they are planning to take over the world - OVERBREEDING.
All chavs have to wear "uniform" if they want to be a part of the gang, if they do not conform to this "cult like" demands of the leaders they will be extradited until they learn to do as all others do. Typically, they all wear imitation sports clothes, a favourite look is to tuck ones socks into ones trousers, possibly to intimidate passers by.
One of the favourite habits of the chav is to hang around shopping centres near argos and "maccy'dees" as they like to call it. They feel that they are very scary, often calling out swear words and insults that would not impress three yr olds. "oi spekkie" , "haha t**t you've got a tie on" . yet when confronted they usually run away, if not they just cowar!
lastly they have built their own language from base english, most words are less than 2 sylables long so as not to confuse each other. not that they would know what longer words meant anyway as most drop out of school at 11.
The same applies to the chav mother except she will have 10 children of different fathers! this is how they are planning to take over the world - OVERBREEDING.
All chavs have to wear "uniform" if they want to be a part of the gang, if they do not conform to this "cult like" demands of the leaders they will be extradited until they learn to do as all others do. Typically, they all wear imitation sports clothes, a favourite look is to tuck ones socks into ones trousers, possibly to intimidate passers by.
One of the favourite habits of the chav is to hang around shopping centres near argos and "maccy'dees" as they like to call it. They feel that they are very scary, often calling out swear words and insults that would not impress three yr olds. "oi spekkie" , "haha t**t you've got a tie on" . yet when confronted they usually run away, if not they just cowar!
lastly they have built their own language from base english, most words are less than 2 sylables long so as not to confuse each other. not that they would know what longer words meant anyway as most drop out of school at 11.
by sunshine1984 July 20, 2008
Get the chavmug. Gah...those chavs really do suck.
You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.
TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)
AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.
WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.
DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.
Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.
CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.
DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.
LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.
male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.
DISLIKES:
Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.
Male: Greebos.
CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
You can look at them in two ways; one being the non biased way and te other being the biased. I'm gonna pick the biased way cause chavs just suck ass. And if they don't they want to.
TYPICAL NAMES: Michelle, Kelly, Brooke, Zoe, Ella ect (nothing too intelectual)or jack, Tom, Chris, Scott (once again, simple.)
AGES: One group can range between 11-15 whilst the other is the older, more 'hardcore' group of 16-21 year olds.
WHEREABOUTS: Local market, Macdonals, Police cell, Park, Bus Stop, Police car, Dodgy 24 hour off-license or in big groups on the highstreet harrassing greebos.
DEFINITIONS:
Female chav: Straightened hair or hair pulled so tight its the croyden facelift effect, good skin ONLY because they use like half a pot of stolen concealer, either incredibly skinny or fat but pretends not to be, miniskirt and short tanktop or white tracksuit bottoms and matching tracksuit jacket with a white or baby pink/baby blue tank-top underneath, nike trainers which are scarily clean, three ear piercing, each with thick gold hoops adorning them, and possibly a diamond earring in the cartalidge. There will be gold rings on each finger, possibly up to 20 on each hand, and numerous amount of necklaces, but one being boyfriends thick gold chain and a moving clown necklace from argos, and not forgetting the essex/london accent that is made worse, and the shouting and the bottle of white lightning and/or beer attached to hand.
Male Chav: Ew. There is a choice of a skinhead with a little bit of stubble or spikey hair if your white, but if your black its either skinhead or cornrows. White tracksuits ONLY, and wollen socks that the trousers are tucked into and the perma white trainers on show. Only one diamond earring is required, and if they are old enough some form of stubble is grown, and finally, a deep voice, which doesnt matter about the accent but cocnkey or Essex is usually known in male chavs but less important for them to maintain, unlike female chavs.
CARRYING: Females carry push chairs wih babies in, or after six pm its a bottle of white lightning or malibu, whilst males deck themselfs with attractive knifes and baseball bats.
DANGERS: Everything about them. Breathe near one of them and if you ain't a chav you'll probably get knifed. Best to avoid eye contact with female chavs otherwise they will assume you are 'evilling' them.
LIKES:
female: Baby called Brooklyn/Romeo/Cassie/Michelle, White ligntning,pure vodka,alcopops, MacDonalds, shouting highpitched, dance music.
male: Knifes, Baseball bats, Burberry caps, beer, Shouting at lone greebos, saying innit.
DISLIKES:
Female: Greebos, Police, not being allowed out to reck havoc.
Male: Greebos.
CONCLUSION: They're just twats in general, thinking people like them when they really should just jump off the nearest cliff.
Chav: So yeh innit mate let scat to maccy d's nd see if the rest of da crew are there innit and if anybody is startin on me or ma bird they are ognna get here 'ead kicked so lets move!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!
Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.
Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
Girlfriend: -highpitched- Aiiite!!!! look at that greebow ova there ohmigawd she just gave me evails!!!
Greebo: -looks over- Um...what? -mutters underbreath- Retarded chavs.
Girlfriend: -higherpitched- Whatttt did she just say?! What did YEW just say to mai?!
by Robyn Cator September 1, 2006
Get the chavsmug. Well, i used to believe chavs were what most people on here have written. But not until the other day i realised they wern't. 'Chav' is a personality type, more than a look. 'Chavs' generally are loud-mouthed teens. They normally 'start' on Emos, goths, or anyone different to them. And they all dress the same, i suppose that doesnt make them chavish, but they wud be like 'OMG WTF ARE YOU WEARING?' if you didn't go out your door in a nike trackie.
Chavs 1 (atood outside maccys): OMG LOOK AT DAT BIG GOTH.
Sk8r: Um..
Chavs 2: Lets get him.
emo (sk8rs friend): Um, i think its time we went.
Chavs 1: Where the fuck do you think your goin, are you startin?
Sk8r: Um..
Chavs 2: Lets get him.
emo (sk8rs friend): Um, i think its time we went.
Chavs 1: Where the fuck do you think your goin, are you startin?
by Dazzy April 10, 2006
Get the chavsmug. Darwins theory believes that man evolved from primates evolved from fish etc etc. However a recent discovery means that there is now evidence that man 'devolves' on occasion, thus the 'chav'. 'Chavs' (council housed and violent) are a top competitor for the lowest form of life on the planet. From a distance they look like the average human being but there are five major diffrences.
1.intelligence, on average chavs have an IQ of around 30 this means that they are as smart as the average gorilla. They have 'adapted' to change the entire english language and often do not even use words that they cant pronounce or dont understand. This means that "excuse me could you tell me where the nearest boutique is please". Becomes "nah where da fooks maccy d's too like?".
2.Skin. As you know the human being is usually either black or white... Chavs are orange.
3.Pack hunters. Despite the fact that they think they are 'hard' this rule only applies when what they are fighting is
A) smaller than them.
B) not carrying a weapon.
C) the chavs have weapons.
D) the person/animal is not likely to fight back.
If you do encouter a chav on it's own it is not likely to start on you without provoction, if it does all you have to do is pull a knife out, they will generally back away or failing that, laugh at them they will not be able to stand the humiliation.
4.breeding. One of britains main problems is that chavs breed like rat's and start at a very early age, by the age of 17 the chavette will have at least four children of many diffrent creeds and colours, sadly they usually abandon the chavling at the age of 5days to fend for it's self and it starves to death. (note: i know it's sad... but the poor little sod's probably better off anyway) all of the services needed for the child are ALLWAYS provided for by the taxpayer. this also aplies to chav transport see: chavmobile
5.mouthy. Chavs live under the false impression that we all want to be like them, if you are not a chav then in the eyes of one you are either a) a nerd. or b) a emo. however we all know this is not true.
1.intelligence, on average chavs have an IQ of around 30 this means that they are as smart as the average gorilla. They have 'adapted' to change the entire english language and often do not even use words that they cant pronounce or dont understand. This means that "excuse me could you tell me where the nearest boutique is please". Becomes "nah where da fooks maccy d's too like?".
2.Skin. As you know the human being is usually either black or white... Chavs are orange.
3.Pack hunters. Despite the fact that they think they are 'hard' this rule only applies when what they are fighting is
A) smaller than them.
B) not carrying a weapon.
C) the chavs have weapons.
D) the person/animal is not likely to fight back.
If you do encouter a chav on it's own it is not likely to start on you without provoction, if it does all you have to do is pull a knife out, they will generally back away or failing that, laugh at them they will not be able to stand the humiliation.
4.breeding. One of britains main problems is that chavs breed like rat's and start at a very early age, by the age of 17 the chavette will have at least four children of many diffrent creeds and colours, sadly they usually abandon the chavling at the age of 5days to fend for it's self and it starves to death. (note: i know it's sad... but the poor little sod's probably better off anyway) all of the services needed for the child are ALLWAYS provided for by the taxpayer. this also aplies to chav transport see: chavmobile
5.mouthy. Chavs live under the false impression that we all want to be like them, if you are not a chav then in the eyes of one you are either a) a nerd. or b) a emo. however we all know this is not true.
t=The chav abolishment act of 2009 means that chavs are not allowed out between the hours of 00:00-23:59. If they are spotted they can be shot on sight.
by nonnymouse January 14, 2008
Get the chavmug. The IQ of one of these peices of scum-shits can be found using the following equation:
IQ = 1
_________________
no. of gold chains^2
If you are a chav yourself, and cannot grasp the significance of this equation, it means: The more gold chains you have, the dumber you will.
IQ = 1
_________________
no. of gold chains^2
If you are a chav yourself, and cannot grasp the significance of this equation, it means: The more gold chains you have, the dumber you will.
2)a) If A chav has a total of only 3 gold chains on him/her, how intelligent is she/he?
IQ = 1
__
3^2
IQ = 1/9
The Chav has an IQ of 1/9. The average is 90-100.
IQ = 1
__
3^2
IQ = 1/9
The Chav has an IQ of 1/9. The average is 90-100.
by Comrade Dmitri February 18, 2004
Get the chavmug.