The lesser known, but equally feared cousin of Bartleby, Summoner Of Demons. He is known for his uncanny ability to cause explosive diarrhea and other such gastrointestinal maladies at cosmically inopportune times (esp. lunch box socials, church gatherings, board meetings).
When encountered on long road trips, frequent stops may become a necessity during critical situations involving aggressive wildlife species (eg. North American Ass-Grizzled Bear, Eastern Diamondback Bowelsnake, Drop Cookie Bear, Poopaconda, etc).
Devout Colonic Exorcists may be called in from the Colonic Arch Diocese, but only on rare occasions, when reading from the book of Immodium AD and 10 sets of Hail Kaopectate prove to be clinically ineffective.
When encountered on long road trips, frequent stops may become a necessity during critical situations involving aggressive wildlife species (eg. North American Ass-Grizzled Bear, Eastern Diamondback Bowelsnake, Drop Cookie Bear, Poopaconda, etc).
Devout Colonic Exorcists may be called in from the Colonic Arch Diocese, but only on rare occasions, when reading from the book of Immodium AD and 10 sets of Hail Kaopectate prove to be clinically ineffective.
"Did you hear about Mr. Colostenheim?"
"Yeah. He crapped the buffet at the company picnic Saturday. Do you think it was a message from Shartleby?"
"Nah. They took him to the hospital. Turns out his liver is failing and he's an alcoholic."
"I bet he eats dick."
"Yeah. He crapped the buffet at the company picnic Saturday. Do you think it was a message from Shartleby?"
"Nah. They took him to the hospital. Turns out his liver is failing and he's an alcoholic."
"I bet he eats dick."
by idbeholda1 May 11, 2016
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Get the Shartilage mug.When you are well aware everyone knows you've shit yourself and all you can do is walk away, clean yourself and die (inside).
I thought something was wrong with Gerald when he got up and ran off, but then It smelled like poop. Gerald just went into shartiac arrest.
by Shitbird? January 24, 2017
Get the shartiac arrest mug.The anxiety one feels when pressure builds in their bowels of which relieving could result in a satisfyingly harmless fart or a disastrously messy shart.
While on her date with Bobby, Suzy was overcome by shartenangst. She interrupted Bobby mid-sentence and excused herself to the Ladies Room.
Being a gambling man, Ronny ignored his shartenangst and let rip a loud shart that paralyzed him in his cubical.
Being a gambling man, Ronny ignored his shartenangst and let rip a loud shart that paralyzed him in his cubical.
by Capt Kevlar May 14, 2017
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