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no offense

A pre-statement that allows for any possible offensive or derogatory remark you are about to declare. As long as the offensive remark has this pre-statement in front, it is assumed that the declarer is not to be held accountable for the repercussions of the statement to follow. If this is declared post-statement, the safety net is somewhat removed, the statement loses some girth, and the speaker can be held accountable to the spoken words.
Example 1 Pre-statement:

John: "No offense Betty, but you are the worst employee in this entire company and no one enjoys your presence. Also, I do not find you physically attractive and I think you are a bitch."

Steve: "Dude, how can you be so harsh!?"

Betty: "Don't be such a prude Steve, he said no offense first; it's cool bro."

Example 2 Post-statement:

Mike: "Wow Cindy, I cannot believe you slept with everyone on the 3rd floor, you are such a slut; no offense."

Cindy: "OMG."

Tim: "Mike - you're fired."
by Joey Fizzle May 4, 2016
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No offense

A warning that someone's about to offend the shit out of you
No offense but your face disgusts me
by Mr fathom July 9, 2018
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Related Words

Shrek Offender

A beast with an extremely large penis, developed by Jews, alongside Adolf Drippler.
God damn that man must be a Shrek Offender, look at his massive penis!
by Daddy Hydra February 9, 2021
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sax offender

The act of leaving a beautiful and expensive instrument, specifically a saxophone, at a musical event in which one was performing and subsequently acknowledging the mistake without any intent of ever retrieving the instrument.
"Lex left his saxophone at the Catalyst show and never went back for it... that made him a sax offender for life."
by madcow117 March 7, 2021
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T-Offing

The act of when someone has done something that is either very numerous or

Very stupid often resulting in everyone in the room laughing at the person. You would normally use this phrase when you are out with a new group of friends , typically from Toronto who use a variety of slang that you have never heard before or can’t understand , so to make yourself not look like a wasteyute you make up a word in order to make them think you're “with them shits”. As a result you use the phrase “T-Offing”.
Ivan: yo fam I heard Gary flopped on linking the mandem over sum battry ting.
Gianluca: “YO SAY WORD THIS MANS T-OFFING “

Ivan: “Yo fam what the fuck are you saying that’s not a word retard”
by T-offer April 9, 2021
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Kermitable Offense

A phrase used between two autistic people to describe when one of them, does something that it blatantly autistic. Can also be referred to as a "Kermit." Things that can be described as a "Kermitable Offense" are dislike of bright lights, flashing lights, sudden loud noises, dislike of textures of food, a dislike of sensations like being wet, slimy, or itchy, or an obsessive knowledge of one very oddly specific topic (ie trains, robots, monsters, anime, etc.)

Origins are from the image of Kermit the Frog and Pepe the Shrimp with the caption: "I'm gonna be real with you chief, you might be autistic."
Person 1: "Hey did you know that there is no exact canonical description of what the map of the Island of Sodor looks like? And that it's different in many continuities?"

Person 2: "Alright, but knowing that is a Kermitable Offense."
by Lucky Once August 21, 2022
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Pull off an Mbappe

an extraordinary and welcome event that lacks favorable odds but is some how accomplished due to talent that surpasses natural understanding and is therefore attributed to divine intervention.
Despite Aisha being a ten out of ten, Kevin somehow, managed to pull off an Mbappe and get her number.
by 🔱alé December 26, 2022
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