Fake Blumpkin

you sit down on the toilet to get ready for a blumpkin as the girl goes down you stand up and shove her face into the toilet and proceed to give her a swirley

i got fake blumpkined yesturday

by mike oxslong has to poop December 23, 2008

Progressive Blumpkin

Progessive Blumpkin - A Procedure on how to actually get a Blumpkin

Step 1) Fart a lot in her presence during oral sex and regular fucking. Do this for at least 3 months or until she gets used to the smell of your rancid bowels.

Step 2) Shit yourself during oral sex and/or while banging the snot out of the bitch. Act completely embarassed when this happens! "I agree that was awful... let's take it into the bathroom next time!"

Step 3) Enjoy your Blumpkin filled future life together.

"Man that Progressive Blumpkin shit really worked! Man I can't so much as fart without that dirty whore wanting to suck my mule or least bite my nuts... thanks Progressive Blumpkin"

by Tyler Breckenridge November 10, 2005

blumpkin donuts

The act of getting your dick sucked in the Dunkin' Donuts bathroom while shitting and eating a Dunkin donut.

Ron went to the bathroom with his newly purchased dozen donuts and starting chowing down while taking a shit. Then the cashier came in to clean and found Ron shitting with an open door. Not wanting to seem rude, she sucked Ron's dick. Boom, blumpkin donuts.

by tsobulker June 3, 2010

Bloomin Blumpkin

The act of getting a blowjob while taking a shit while eating a Bloomin' Onion from the Outback Steakhouse. Those three small successes equal the major one known as the 'Bloomin Blumpkin'. This is the pinnacle of achievement one can possibly attain during a lifetime. Nobel Prize winners hope to one day receive a Bloomin Blumpkin.

Sean: "You know Claire from LOST?"

Justin: "The Australian one, yeah shes pretty cute"

Sean: "I'd let her serve me a bloomin blumpkin!"

Justin: "If only! I could die a happy man after that"

by themanswh March 4, 2010

Country Blumpkin

An off-shoot of the famous Blumpkin (getting head while taking a shit) but performed in an outhouse. Porto-potties are an acceptable substitute, provided the location is rural.

"Uncle Cooter done got a Country Blumpkin from Mary Jane Rottencrotch last night"

by Texas Haz June 13, 2008

Chinese Blumpkin

Performing cunnilingus on woman while she has a bowel movement and is also menstruating. Named after Red China.

"Sheila was very frisky while we were getting ready for bed last night," said John, excitedly. "She asked me to give her a Chinese Blumpkin!

by GrossVocab99 February 5, 2010

faggot blumpkin

a homosexual male that lets his partner give him a blowjob while shitting

dude evan is giving josh a faggot blumpkin :(

by tonloke February 24, 2011