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shitism

The religion in which "shit" is praised.
The turd commandments are as follows:
1.Don't shit in a pit.
2.Don't poo after eating a vindaloo.
3.Don't grunt when you're having a poo.
4.Don't wipe with nettles.
5.Refer to yourself as a shitist.
"I say Agatha" said Reginald, "is this chap christian, or one of the Jews?
"I do decalre! Reginald, he is a shitist. He follows shitism"
"Capital." Regie responded
-source, Pride and Prejudice by J Austen
by Henry Taylor December 12, 2006
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shitistics

The mathematical process by which one or a group measures the quality and size of their shits. A way to compare shits between competing friends/enemies. There is an average shit for humanity, as taken by Jesus Christ unto St. Peter's face (the Holy Shit), and shits greater than or less than the Holy Shit is measured by standard deviation in terms of chippermonkeys. Shitistics apply to size, girth, smell, denisty, color, and toilet clogging ability. Shitistics are measured by a neutral arbiter in a "who took the biggest shit" dispute.
Jason: Shit dude, I took a huge shit this morning.

Matt: What are the shitistics you shithead?

Jason: Size: 1.2 chippermonkeys, Girth: 3.8 chippermonkeys, Smell: 2.8 chippermonkeys, Density: -1.9 chippermonkeys, Color: 0.2 chippermonkeys, Toilet Clogging: 10.0 chippermonkeys.

Matt: I guess thats a decent shit.

Jason: Shit, I had to buy new socks.

Matt: Tell Craig to come measure the shitistics on the deuce I just dropped.
by Cream Puff69 October 13, 2012
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Related Words

Shitams

Much faster and easier way to say "shit" several times in a row after something "shitty" or 'worth saying "shitams"' has occurred. Often said in a 'British-like' manner to make the word slightly more effective.
"Dude, your phone just fell into a pond of fruit punch."

"Oh, shitams."
by Maya Nicole April 6, 2010
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Shitistist

To be in a state of "I doesn't care"
I am feeling so shitistist right now
by Saiiiikkk November 14, 2019
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The Shitis

Pronounced "Shy-tiss"

It's a combination of having the shits and the itis. You go out, eat big meal from a questionable buffet and spend the rest of the day either crapping your pants or falling asleep, or worse, both simultaneously.
Gary: Hey Pete, you ain't looking good.

Pete: Ug, I ate at Number 1 Super Indian Buffet for lunch. Now I got the Shitis.

Gary: The what?

Pete: the Shitis. I keep falling asleep whenever I'm not pooping my brains out.

Gary: Shitty.
by J-Roc n friends November 26, 2010
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Shitish

pseudo crap, stuff that is almost shitty, a situation where the involved parties of a conflict get screwed over.
Those kids out there were just playing around, thier punishment is pretty shitish if you ask me.
by mikEy07 October 5, 2006
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Shitism

An induced delusional state of mind where magic words and phrases, like "Great Deal Soon," "FANTASTIC!" "tremendous," "MOAR Tarrifs," elicit a desired effect, leading to zombism and constipation. There is no know cure.
The stock market under Trump is full of so much shitism that sunshine isn't even blowing out his ass!
by CABG Patch March 1, 2019
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