Asspapsmear

Probing a woman's ass with tongue, finger or wang, akin to a doctor performing a papsmear.

After her gyno appointment the wife wasn't in the mood for romance until I began performing an Asspapsmear add

by NSAssman July 2, 2016

asspussy

An anus that is used for sexual intercourse. An asspussy will generally be penetrated by (but not limited to) a penis (or penises) and/or other appendages. Asspussy is also most likely to be shaved and willing to accept cock at any given moment. The presence of asspussy implies the act of "fucking," not "making love."

After donkey punching her, I rammed my pole into her asspussy and blew my wad into her sludge farm.

I fucked her asspussy until it blossomed like a fudge flower.

I pulled out and shoved it in her asspussy because was far tighter than her coochie.

That twink loves to show off his asspussy like it's the fucking Queen of England.

I retracted from her asspussy and promptly drove it into her mouth.

My cock has his asspussy written all over it.

She passed out after I jackhammered her asspussy.

by Dirtycoochie July 29, 2008

assruption

failure, collapse, inability to perform, freak accident, incopetency

I have found this word used first time while looking at comments on digg.com.

"In a thousand years scientists will dig people out of your assruption."

by Alexei Polkhanov February 16, 2008

asspurgers syndrome

A terrible affliction that drives one imediately to the throne with an urgent need to expel a toxic river of brown filth from one's derriere.

Last night's curry destroyed my guts. Bad case of asspurgers syndrome this morning. Should have put the bog roll in the fridge last night. Gnarly.

by banoslibre September 7, 2014

Assmuppet

A auipped remark one makes in jest to a friend after they commit some foolish action.

In jest, Lysander dubbed Bob an assmuppet for his clumsiness which rendered him on his rear when he walked blindly into a pole.

by MaliceBliss November 7, 2003

assmuppet

person of unintelligent or blundering character.

Which of you assmuppets was trying to get ITP off of Mully?

by Morphy <3 August 18, 2003

asspundit

A political analyst or other so-called learned person with particularly idiotic views.

Sean Hannity's views belie a lack of general knowledge and a dearth of reason, therefore he is an asspundit.

References both the tradition of using the word "ass" to describe someone as a despicable person and an xkcd comic.

by gabriel gryffyn April 27, 2007