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hazelnut

1+1=2 is a hazelnut you bastard
by crunk m June 7, 2005
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Hazelnut

A nut in which many people are allergic to and may possible die from. Also a person typically someone that is brown in color (since hazel is a shade of brown), that is short typically the shortest person in the room, that is also very outgoing and probably one of the greatest of friends a person could ever have.
Martin: Is that an Apple Pie!
Haider: No it is a hazelnut pie.
Martin: Oh looks like I can't eat that then.
by Mario Mikhailovich March 16, 2020
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Hazelnuting

Imogen was being annoying so I hazelnuted her
Hazelnuting is not painful so suck it up
by Imnotatoad April 11, 2021
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Hazelnut

Ejaculating on a senior citizen's face.
Todd: "What happened after you left the wedding?"
Eric: "I took Derek's great aunt back to her hotel and..."
Todd: "And what?"
Eric: "Hazelnut."
by WemerVshon December 14, 2008
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Hazelnut Surprise

The act of masturbating into a jar of Nutella and then closing it and waiting for an unsuspecting victim.
Jan just wanted some Nutella for her toast. Instead, she got a classic hazelnut surprise from Jim.
by #daddy2013 September 9, 2013
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Hazelnut

When someone receives oral whilst on the toilet. Subsequently, they cum when they release their shit. Therefore causing a Hazelnut.
"Last night I had a hazelnut and it felt so good!"
by BR-Boy77 November 25, 2020
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Joseph Hazelnut

The infamous coffee-imbibing Captain of the U.S.S. Juan Valdez that ran aground in Alaska's Prince William Sound and spilled huge quantities of Colombian coffee into the bay.
Somebody at X-on shoulda known better than to hire a sea-captain with a name like Joseph Hazelnut --- both his first AND last names would give a normal person da coffee-jitter nerves... "joe" is slang for coffee, and "hazelnut" is an actual FLAVOR of coffee... NOT a good combination for calm and alert piloting of a huge tanker-vessel through the reef-laced waters off Alaska!!
by QuacksO August 9, 2018
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