stick your dick in it

a joke where "if it has a hole, stick your dick in it" is typically the first thing they say.

actually doing this will probably get you killed within a month.

"Dude, why is this road full of holes? "
"I don't know, but stick your dick in it."
"What the fuck! I'm not insane you know."

by Apersonwholikesstupidjokes March 29, 2017

I don't even know what hole to put my dick in

A new phrase thats rapidly gaining in popularity, this is used to describe ones condition if one is utterly confused, wasted, high, or just plain out of it. Its often used to describe situations that have already happened but is not limited to that. There are many variations, a few of the more common ones are following:

-I don't know what hole to put my dick in
-I can't even tell which hole to put my dick in
-I put my dick in all the wrong holes

"Man, that party last night was so crazy I didn't even know which hole to put my dick in."

"Algebra is so confusing, I don't even know what hole to put my dick in!"

"I feel bad about that chick the other day, I was so wasted I put my dick in all the wrong holes..."

by ybsubnairb December 10, 2009

stick their dick in the dirt

A way of saying you are going to stomp somebody out, beat them up, or give them a beat down. Also a way of saying somebody got laid the fuck out in football.

-"Pookie was talking shit about you!"
-"Lets go stick that nigga's dick in the dirt Ray-Ray!

"It's fourh down and one! Let's stick their dick in the dirt nigga!"

by Lil Yums April 27, 2009

A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand

A blowjob is worth the value of two handjobs. Frequently used in negotiations by cheap hookers. Not to be confused with the meaningful expression involving birds and bushes.

HOOKER: "Okay you got two blowjobs and half a handjob, that will be $4.50"
DUDE: "What? That's a bit steep, I thought you told me a handjob was only a dollar!"
HOOKER: "Its fair. A dick in the mouth is worth two in the hand"

by fgsdfsq November 4, 2014

Kickin' it with my Dick in it!

Another fun filled way of expressing your current state of being. Usually, one who is on some kind of psychoactive chemical or a cocktail of mind altering substances. This term is used to express the lack of doing anything of importance when asked if you are busy or unavailable. This term originated in norther california and unfortunately has graced the ears of very few. i.e see "rocking out with my cock out" and "hanging out with my wang out". Society was in desperate need of a better way to express ones current state without resorting to overused, cliched terms from far too many movies.

This term was originally coined by a young man named Andrew Hopson. Growing increasingly fed up with hearing commonly overused saying some jack off hear on a movie, Andrew Hopson decided it was time for the world to have something better, funnier, and unique. Only the few who have been exposed to this wonderous play on words, dare try using it in everyday communication. Watch it pop up in a movie now and than it's no good. So is, the way of the world.

"Hey bro, what are u up to man?"
"Not a damn thing man, just "Kickin' it with my Dick in it!"
"Alright, well is it cool if I roll through?"
"yeah man, like I said, just chillin here at my spot"
"Alright bro, u got a 40 u can get rid of?"
"I'll have it ready when u get here brah"
"wood"
"no worries brother"
"alright bud see u soon"

by TheBlindHouse88 November 28, 2011

A spare dick in a fucking contest

To describe a someone who gives little or no contribution to a task.

"Jenny didn't help at all, she just stood around like a spare dick in a fucking contest"

by hteb78 April 29, 2013

a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand

Sex with a woman is always preferable to jerking off

You coming to the party? There's going to be lots of trim.
Nah, gonna stay in and jerk off.

C'mon, dude, a dick in the bush is worth two in the hand.

by Shuaman December 13, 2016