I Loosened It For You 

What a guy says, with no hint of sarcasm, after he tries to open a jar of Mayo and fails, and his 95 lb. twig-shaped aneorexic girlfriend opens it after him.

Guy 1: Hey man, can you open this jar of Mayo?

Guy 2: Sure

<grabs jar out of hand of Guy 1 and strains considerably at opening it. He fails and hands it to his 95 lb. twig-shaped aneorexic girlfriend, who pops that shit open like it aint no thang.>

Guy 2: I loosened it for you...
<As Guy 1 laughs>

I Loosened It For You by G-Negro December 15, 2008

I don't want no trouble 

A term first used by Jackie Chan. It is often used by Asians--particularly Chinese--when in danger...or trouble.
Though, the expression often leads to a worse beat-down.
Pronounced like so: "I don't wont no trobble."

"What's up, my nigger?"
"What did you just say?"
"What's up, my nigger?"
"Come here! You better watch your mouth!"
"-What you say, boy?"
"I don't want no trouble."
-Rush Hour

I don't want no trouble by CalvinL September 28, 2006

I'm Batman

The ultimate badass introduction. Say this upon meeting someone tough and they'll never mess with you.

Thug: What are you?!
Batman: I'm Batman

I'm Batman by Gary Trimarchi November 4, 2007

I don't like your FACE.

Conversational non-sequitur designed to kill an internet discussion stone dead. Always, ALWAYS, FUCKING ALWAYS DAMMIT to be spelt out as above, capitalised final word, full stop and all. Originated in Scotland.

Dave: Scotland Scotland Scotland
Splog: I don't like your FACE.
Dave: ...
Splog: I don't like your FACE.

Immanuel Kant: Nature is the existence of things, so far as it is determined according to universal laws. Should nature signify the existence of things in themselves, we could never know it either a priori or a posteriori. Not a priori, for how can we know what belongs to things in themselves, since this never can be done by the dissection of our concepts (in analytical judgments)? We do not want to know what is contained in our concept of a thing (for the concept describes what belongs to its logical being), but what is in the actuality of the thing superadded to our concept, and by what the thing itself is determined in its existence outside the concept. Our understanding, and the conditions on which alone it can connect the determinations of things in their existence, do not prescribe any rule to things themselves; these do not conform to our understanding, but it must conform itself to them; they must therefore be first given us in order to gather these determinations from them, wherefore they would not be known a priori.
Splog: I don't like your FACE.
Immanuel Kant: ...

I don't like your FACE. by Your FACE. July 12, 2008

i'm broke

Out of money

I spent all of my money and now I'm broke.

i'm broke by EngSlang April 6, 2016

i-95 

Devil's Highway. 'Nuff said.

If you haven't gotten into an accident, or seen an accident on I-95, you're not human.

i-95 by ziggy April 6, 2005

i'd throw it in the two hole 

An expression used to indicate that one finds a female reasonably attractive. Literally means that given the chance, you would like to engage in anal intercourse with her.

Britney: "Dad, I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Kevin."
Dad: "Nice to meet you, Kevin. Now I want you to take good care of my daughter. She's a beautiful young lady and you should treat her with the respect she deserves."
Kevin: "You got that right, Pops. I'd throw it in the two hole. Can't wait to chuck my junk in that."
Dad: "Excuse me?"
Kevin: "Hey old man, you got a shitter around here? I got fuckin' plastered last night at the strip club and I've got some wicked beer shits."

i'd throw it in the two hole by Nick D August 28, 2005