bert kaempfert

Bert Kaempfert conducted a jazz orchestra and wrote many famous songs. He recorded from 1958 to 1980. His career as a conductor began in post-war Germany, where he heard the GI's V- discs, and decided to make similar music, using his considerable education in music.

Bert Kaempfert's Original Gold Records include "Wonderland by Night" and "Moon Over Naples (Spanish Eyes)."

by F.A.S. November 26, 2013

Bert-reading

Reading of a petition perform before signing it, to find out if you should support it or not, although the title is convincing. It's the final stage before signing a petition.

X: Did you just sign that petition ?
Y: Yes, why ?
X: You know better! Please do a bert-reading next time!!
Y: Why ?
X: Petitions can be very powerful and being attention to issues that we don’t know about... but I really need you to read some of these before signing. Some of them don’t be saying nothing and actually detract from grassroots organizations that are already doing the work.

by jhumigas June 06, 2020

Ernie and Bert Syndrome

Ernie and Bert Syndrome is the rare case of when two men declare homosexuality and get into a relationship with each other, but also declare asexuality, effectively making them just friends.

"Tim and Jerry are gay but they both said they're asexual."
"So that makes them just friends then. There's a term for that. Its called Ernie and Bert Syndrome."

by cyn!c August 27, 2018

Bert Kreischer sit-ups

A highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

Bert Kreischer sit-ups

A highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

Bert Kreischer sit-ups

Bert Kreischer sit-ups is a highly competitive exercise competition requiring each participant to insert a well lubricated prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) into the anus prior to performing maximum effort sit-ups. The goal is to perform the maximum amount of repetitions each round prior to the prosthetic penis and or phallic shaped object(s) fully dislodging from the body. A winner will be determined following ten rounds of continuous play with no more than a one minute break in between rounds.

…those last few rounds of Bert Kreischer sit-ups was a gut check!

by Mr SlapNTickle March 20, 2023

Bert Squirt

The same exact technique as giving a woman the shocker. But the person giving the Bert Squirt is missing part of their pinky finger. Therefore instead of " Two in the pink and one in the stink", it is Two in the pink and half in the stink. This technique is satisfying to both partners because the partner on the receiving end is enjoying a half pinky with no fingernail being lodged up her butthole, while the partner on the giving end is feeling the woman's stink wrinkles pucker like a hummingbird heart all over his damaged nerve endings sending them both into squirt mode.

I gave my wife the Bert squirt last night, now the ceiling in our bedroom looks like a jackson pollock painting with a black light on!

by Chingycheeze August 20, 2021