diagonalize

to cross two or more intersecting streets in one direct nonstop path while avoiding contact with all intermediate corners.
See hypotenuse-tionanal-ize.

"There is no traffic in any direction at this intersection, it is appropriate to diagonalize" yelled Jane to her friend on the far corner.

by MikeS August 15, 2006

Diagnoogle

To diagnose a medical issue using Google.

Dont diagnoogle your problems. You should really see a doctor.

by haledaniels January 9, 2011

Self-diagnosed

Someone who 100% definitely has some sort of mental disorder simply because they say they do. Any attempts to quash this will be immediately shot down since nothing beats a self-diagnosed 14 yr old with mobile service.

Billy: Dude I am self-diagnosed with depression
Jake: No you're not
Jake proceeds to die since he has angered the mob of 14 year olds

by loolololollololoolo69 March 25, 2019

self-diagnoser

self diagnosers are the people that like fidget cubes so they say "I need it so I can focus". Then the next day they will be like "omg i feel like I need fidget constantly, Omg I have such bad adhd" . This is very annoying not to mention how fucking annoying it is to people that actually have adhd. First of all stop, second of all GET A DIAGNOSIS!! I can't even tell you how many people are like "Do you really think i can go talk to that person? I have depression, anxiety, and social anxiety!!" I am so sorry that you are feeling fidgety, nervous, or sad, but mental illness isn't an adjective! I know karen looked up 7 "100% accurate not-fake (adhd/anxiety/depression/other mental illness)" test on google and its said she had whatever mental illness, but you really can't throw around those terms. in conclusion, self diagnosers piss people off! it doesnt matter how much u rlly think you have it, GET A DIAGNOSIS! DONT GO AROUND SAYING THAT U HAVE RLLY BAD THIS OR THAT WHEN YOU PROBABLY DON'T! PLEASE JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS THAT U ARE REALLY SURE THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEFORE YOU GET A DIAGNOSIS FROM A REAL DOCTOR/PSYCHOLOGIST! NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR "STRUGGLES"! JUST SHUT UP!!!!

karen says she has ADHD because she is feeling fidgety (after drinking 7 red bulls) WHAT A self-diagnoser!

by literally can't even May 14, 2018

diagetic

As told or recounted rather than shown. Derived from diagesis, a style of fiction. In diagesis, a narrator tells a story. It has stood in contrast with mimesis -- in which you are shown rather than told -- since Aristotelean times.

When Jack Johnson sings about the diagetic world, he is talking about the world you are told about, and complaining that you can't accept the narrative that you hear.

Alternately, one can think of the Director's cut of Blade Runner as more mimetic, forcing you to put things together, while the one that was put in theatres with the voice overs to fill in the gaps as a more diagetic presentation.

This word is probably a bit uppity for this place, but it doesn't appear in the dictionary, and two incorrect definitions have already been given.

You can't believe everything you hear

The DIAGETIC world is so unclear

So baby close your ears

On the news tonight

by monadologist April 25, 2011

diagnostificationism

Often a term used in the automotive industry to conduct a thorough diagnosis of a vehicle usually taking many more hours than is recommended. This is basically one step below completely tearing the car apart.

Brandon: How is the car coming along?
Jeff: I can't seem to figure out what the problem is!
Brandon: You've been working on that car for 3 hours.
Jeff: Yes, I need to perform "diagnostificationism".

by Jeff Pieper May 27, 2008

diagnosticise

To diagnose or to fix a technical problem with style or flair

"Frankie, lemme diagnosticise your phone"

by Big-AJ April 7, 2013