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Congressed

Getting fully, totally, irredeemably screwed. Made popular by the complete decimation of the India's Congress political party in national elections.
I got badly Congressed at work.
by bora_am May 19, 2014
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Congasm

Male equivalent of pretending to orgasm or “faking it” — especially in a virtual environment.

CONGASMS occur after 20 minutes of failed attempts to jerk off your petite pornstar cock to an (often drunk, trans or fat) egirl you sexpested for half a day. Usually a congasm is preformed in order to spare your very satisfied partner from feelings of insecurity or suspicion.

This method can be a useful way to dispel rumours that you are actually a homosexual male living in New Zealand.

Named after famous kiwi troll and legendary discord playboy CONGASM who claims to have faked 90% of the hundreds of esex encounters they’ve had.
Person named Samir: “Did you just have esex with that tranny Laith?”

Person named Laith: “Don’t worry, I totally had to congasm after I realized they weren’t another man. I’ll die a virgin bro. Shiiiiet.”
by Esqsendtoes October 18, 2022
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Premature Congratulation

Where you wish people happy *event* (birthday and such) earlier than it actually is
Premature Congratulation. Mother's day was sunday, I showed up at my moms house with flowers on saturday .
by CheeseGames June 3, 2017
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Suspended Congress

The act of lifting and holding a chick (usually shorter than you for height difference) off the ground while banging. Said female has her legs and arms wrapped around you, so she doesn't fall, and the male usually has her pinned to a wall for support.
Damn dude, suspended congress got her screamin my name!
by Leah1234 September 24, 2011
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congressman's coffee

If you ever find yourself drinking hard liquor--especially whiskey--before 9 a.m. and need to justify yourself, call it Congressman's Coffee and put it in a coffee cup.
It's called Congressman's Coffee, 'cuz it comes in a cup--and you're not an alcoholic if you drink it all up; you're a statesman worried about the next generation and their constant crisis of a fiscal situation.
by mamma murder August 24, 2010
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congratumalations

Derek - Just got a job!

Jessie - Wow, congratumalations!

Derek - Wha?
by Howseh May 12, 2014
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Congressional Medal of Boner

The highest recognition given to deserving patriots of the sex industry who go beyond the call of booty, usually awarded by lawmakers (hence Congressional).
Mary Jane is awarded the Congressional Medal of Boner for her erotic deeds.
by Ibaraki-Doji January 2, 2012
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