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Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
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beating the clock

Masturbating in a very small amount of time right before one must leave for work or other engagement.
He is supposed to be here soon. He must be beating the clock.
by MateoP April 1, 2008
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WHO BEATING GOKU?

a meme regarding Goku's strength and that no one is beating him.
*goku beats someone*
man 1: NO ONE BEATING GOKU
man 2: WHO BEATING GOKU?
by bop[ April 30, 2021
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leg beating

the act of shaming someone by meticulously pummeling their legs when they are passed out in return for a dis-service they have inflicted upon you
Horton was being such a douche last night, so when he passed out we gave him a leg beating the likes of which upon witnessing, Christ would have cringed .
by timmy gendron May 24, 2008
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Bush Beating

When two people need to talk about something really important and instead of getting straight to the point, they waste time making idle chit chat first.
Dude, would you hurry up and get to the point already??? Stop bush beating
by blade835 November 6, 2010
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carbo bloating

n. The resultant feeling of unease from ingesting too many carbohydrates in the days leading up to a marathon.
Big Mike: Junior, you can't possibly want another plate of spaghetti, can you?
Paul: Sure, I'm carbo bloating a little, but I'll eat all you've got.
by THW November 4, 2009
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beating off the clock

Tim doesn't have to go to school for 2 hours so he ended up beating off the clock.
by dontbeaturselfupoverthis August 20, 2010
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