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Tiny bipolar humans under the age of 3, who can swing rapidly between endearingly cute antics and screaming, kicking, biting fits of rage. Completely unpredictable and often unintelligible lovable little walking blessings/nightmares disguised as tiny human beings with giant heads. Prone to selective hearing and repeating overheard curse words at inopportune moments. More dangerous when traveling in packs. Evolutionarily speaking, it is ridiculous that humans have the ability to reproduce fast enough to be the parent of more than one toddler at a time.
"Do you think you'll have more children?" "Well, even if I survive my two toddlers, FUCK No!" (Did I just say that out loud?) "Chloe, don't repeat that at grandma's!"
by megagogy February 16, 2008
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the act of making someone look like a toddler. Most commonly associated with FIFA when one player dribbles another player's defence, or scores a very nice or fancy goal
Damn, my skills made your defence look like a bunch of toddlers
by Elia Kazad August 28, 2010
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A 60-90cm tall human who has exited the “aaaaw” phase and entered the “awfuuuuuuuck” phase. Generally have no respect or regard for anything and unwittingly forces its parents into alcoholism. They don’t sleep, don’t eat food, however they do have a nak for interior design using simple tools such as crayons, lipstick and eyeliner. They are the second most common cause of hypertension and first most common cause of liver serrosis. toddler
Shit Jim, you look like you’ve had a bender this morning! “ don’t be silly Cheryl, I got totally toddlered last night, the little bastard didn’t sleep until 2am” toddler
by that_guy_from_brizzie November 21, 2017
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1. A child between the ages of 1 and 3.
2. Someone who can not walk very well.
your grandpa is a toddler.
by BETTY CROCKER June 26, 2006
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Little children who are not oldenough to talk back and give you attitude. cute and gives you a reason to relive your childhood and "not" look stupid!
Tristan is a well behaved todler.
by Havilah December 05, 2004
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Person who wears oversized clothes, is fascinated by shiny things, and is in desperate need of a father figure. Weirdly obsessed with pimped out cartoon characters.
Why does that toddler have a cz Tweety bird chain when he makes minimum wage bagging groceries?

Somebody tell that toddler his XXXL Elmo-as-Scarface airbrushed t-shirt is not cool.
by read a book February 16, 2008
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(noun) a hand job so bad you can't even get your dick hard, the girl treats your dick similar to the way a young child shakes a rattle
Guy 1: Dude I took Betty home and she gave me a toddler.
Guy 2: Really?
Guy 1 : Yeah i didnt cum or anything it was awful, she gripped my dick too hard and beat the fuck out of it.
by Mcderbs the Great April 18, 2009
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